Thursday, July 27, 2017

Old Friends, New Times

We went to visit my old best friend from college. She is currently in the US for a couple of years and although I haven't seen her as much as I would like (considering she lives only two hours away), this is the second Memorial Day Weekend we spend together. Last year, they came to stay with us. This year we went to see them and stayed with them overnight.

She is truly an amazing person, a brilliant mind, and my college years were very much shaped by our friendship. Back then, she was like a sister I never had. Now - our friendship has changed, over time. It should not have surprised me. Our lives, our families, our careers have pulled us apart. We still have this deep underlying connection (or I hope we do) -  but we don't live across the hall in the dorm any more. We need to spend a couple of days just catching up, uninterrupted, but it just does not happen.

Our lives are very different. Some of our attitudes are very different.Some of the differences are forced - her life abroad has shaped her, my life in the US has shaped me differently. Other differences go deeper. My friend is a lot more ambitious than I am, she is more competitive, more hard-working... also smarter. She is more anxious about children.

We were kids when we met. And now we have kids of our own. This is crazy. And it is interesting - the kind of parents we've grown to become.

We have different ways of parenting, different ways of doing things - staying with my friend for a couple of days really highlighted that. What makes me so, so happy - they have a wonderful family, and we have a wonderful family even though our attitudes may be diametrically opposite at times. And if I will ever again wonder "are we doing this parenting thing right?" the answer is "there is no wrong and right here... figure out what works at this particular phase and go with it. It will be OK."