Role Models and Anti-Models

There are some people I look at, and I am thinking "I want to be THEM when I grow up."

Then again, there are people I look at and it's "Please G-d, don't let me become THAT."

The kids and I went to the Rosh Hashanah services yesterday. They went off to volunteer and help out with little kids and I ended up sitting by myself. I meant to use that time to think deeply and to figure out goals & life direction, that sort of thing. But, as it happens every year, I ended up paying attention to the services - some of the time - and people-watching. There were also random thoughts that kept popping up in my head.

1. It is very special to feel like I am part of this community

2. This is a big part of the reason why we came to the US - to be able to participate in a Jewish community without fear

3. Safety concerns are very real - I wouldn't call it fear, but there's definitely been an increase in awareness and training on safety protocols at our schul (a place of gathering/prayer/synagogue)

3. It is good to see friends

4. People-watching is the best. There was a weird passive-aggressive squabble over seats (mainly, older folks were oblivious and taking over someone else's seat, and younger folks were oblivious that it would be hard for some people to squeeze through into the middle of a row - especially with walkers)

5. Some people have the most beautiful voices. I wish I could sing better

There is a person in our congregation, a few years older than me (let's call her A) - she is strong, and not afraid to share opinions, and speaks multiple (3 or 4?) languages, and ... let's just say, if I needed life advice - she would be the person to ask. She might not actually give advice, but she would have a few names of people she would suggest I talk to. She is not afraid to wear bright colors. She is absolutely unafraid to be herself. Now, I don't know if I really want to become A - we are just too different.  I am too fearful of everything and I will never be enough of a grown-up. But it's great to have a person like her that I can have on my "admire" list.

There is another person in our congregation. Let's call her M. She is probably in her late 60's or early 70's. She comes across as the most grouchy, bitter, unfriendly person - and I always think about how I absolutely do not want to become like her. [to be fair, I do not not her well and maybe she is wonderful and kind when you get to know her... but every interaction the kids and I have had with her has been... unpleasant. Also, she may have very legitimate reasons to be grumpy and unfriendly, but that's not the point here.] Unfortunately, I feel like I have all the pre-conditions and personality traits to become exactly like M and worse. I don't really know what to do about that, other than remind myself "do not be like M!"

Do you have people in your life that you want to try and be more like them? Do you have people in your life that you hope you won't turn into as you get older?