Memorial Day Weekend 2018

What a weekend...

It was good, really good. There were things that didn't get done, but I have no regrets.

On Friday, I got off work early and had some alone time to do food shopping (what does this say about my life when grocery shopping by myself feels like a luxury?). We had a bit of time with kids in the back yard (picking strawberries) and then headed to my parents' house to celebrate what would have been my grandfather's 100th birthday. It was great not having to worry about dinner - my mom always prepares delicious food - but the best part was talking about family and looking at old photos. Kids were curious and it was nice to have them hear about relatives that they never had the chance to get to know. As usual, they were getting a bit on the wild side after dessert and it was a bit of an ordeal to get everyone into the car. I know my parents will never admit it, but I suspect they appreciate the peace and quiet in their house after we leave.

On Saturday, we were busy preparing the house for guests, cooking, and getting the kids to practice their instruments. My best friend from college and her family came to stay with us overnight. Her best friend from middle and high school lives just a few miles away, so their family joined us for BBQ in the afternoon. It was great to catch up about life, work, kids, and travel. The kids had a blast together - they played beautifully and it filled my heart with joy to see my older daughter making bonds with my friends' daughters. We had 7 kids running in and out of the house, with minimal parental supervision, and as far as I can tell - nothing was broken. My son's door has gathered a few pen-and-pencil drawings.

Sunday - we had a very relaxing, luxurious breakfast outside, and more conversations with friends, and more playtime for kids. Our son had a violin recital in the afternoon and it went really well. There were a few mistakes, I could tell he was nervous, and it could have been better. But... he has made so much progress over the last few months, he has worked hard on his piece, and to see him playing with my mom was amazing. He was so happy and so proud of himself. I was super-nervous - it was much more difficult to sit and watch him play than to be playing myself.

Monday - another luxurious, slow breakfast outside. Then we went on a hike in a nearby state park with my parents. It was great! Being outside, seeing the kids run up and down the trails, talking to my mom about random things - I hope we do this sort of thing more often. My older daughter complained and refused to walk at one point when we were walking from the park back to our house (it's only quarter of a mile, but the road has no sidewalk and the cars drive way too fast, and there is a stretch with almost no shoulder, so having a kid who is not behaving can be stressful). That's one complaint about our neighborhood I have - I so wish it was more pedestrian-friendly and encouraged walking rather than driving everywhere!

Monday was also the day when my husband climbed up a giant extension ladder (I have vertigo just looking at it) into our oak tree, perched himself 30 feet off the ground, and cut off a couple of large dread branches. There was a bit of a challenge with him coming down, because one of the branches knocked the ladder out of alignment and I had to move it a certain way, while he was yelling directions and getting mad because I wasn't doing the right thing, and I had to lock the ladder in after it came loose (it's not like I ever use that thing - so the locking mechanism was all new to me), and the ladder was still a bit crooked. It all ended well - I figured out the locking mechanism (under high-stress, high-stakes conditions - ha!), and managed to stabilize the legs and he got down safely.

What got done:
Some yard work: oak tree branches chopped up and put away to dry, some weeding around fruit trees.
We set up a table and chairs on the covered front porch, so we can eat outside even if it's raining.
Cooking: BBQ + breakfasts, lunches, and dinners for the weekend and meatloaf for the week.
Tidying up: before guests and after guests (we have the luxury of a cleaning service who come to mop, sweep and clean bathrooms and kitchen so I only had to do the minimal clean up).
Reading: finished "The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet"; started to read "The Chosen" with the kids.
Misc: ordered a present for an upcoming birthday party.

What didn't get done:
Cleaning out the attic
Getting out summer clothing for myself and the kids from the attic
Folding laundry
Planting things in the garden
Playing board games with kids

Springtime Madness

We've been engaged in a rock-bottom survival mode for the last few weeks.

Both my husband and I had crazy intense work stuff going on that took over our lives (and sanity) for the last 2 months. We've been working weekends and nights. Which means that we were barely spending any quality time with kids (it basically was limited to feeding &bathing and occasionally checking homework) and nothing but the most urgent housework got done. When I actually think about it, we didn't really neglect the kids - I remember taking the youngest to the playground, playing an occasional game, and talking over dinner - but I couldn't quite focus on the time with kids and I was too concerned with how much work I still had to do to have fun.

We feel exhausted, stressed, frustrated, and we over-react angrily to all the little things. We are behind on everything (gardening, housework), I can't remember the last time I sat down and read to my kids (we are always running around, trying to either get somewhere important, get the kids to do something important, get the kids to go to bed at a reasonable time, prepare lunches, prepare dinners, prepare for work). I hate living like that. Kids internalize our stress and anxiety and act out.

So. My crazy work stuff is done (for now).
We still have:

• Son's baseball (twice a week, plus practices... he is not so good at it and I don't know if he is enjoying it - may not do this again next year!)
• Son's violin lessons (once a week + daily practice) - and he has a recital this Sunday!!! My mom is accompanying him on the piano - they are doing great (but that has meant extra practice time and arranging things so mom can practice with him at our house or her house)
• Big daughter's dance lessons (once a week, plus a dress rehearsal coming up next week, plus the show a few days after that!)
• Big daughter's piano lessons (once a week + daily practice) - and piano guild audition thing next week.
• Daily homework for big kids
• Little daughter - I feel guilty I didn't sign her up for anything this spring (I was considering swimming lessons) - but in retrospect, good thing we didn't. Too much going on.
• Guests coming tomorrow and staying overnight
• End of school year - parties, presents for teachers, etc, etc.
• Race that I want the kids to participate in (for fun!) same day as big daughter's piano guild
• Birthday party to go to same day as big daughter's dance show
• Board meeting at the synagogue same day as birthday party and dance show

Breathe in.... breathe out

I am making an attempt to play with kids more, especially now that the weather is so nice and we have a beautiful yard. I want to play board games with them, too, but most evenings we just don't get to it.

Yesterday, we had a wonderful evening (son didn't have homework - that may have helped carve the time for outside fun). We threw the baseball around and I even tried to hit it with a bat for the first time ever (it was unexpectedly fun - but I only got one hit!), played Frisbee, played with a volleyball. Our youngest is pretty good at catching ball - she was so excited! We walked around the yard, kids picked strawberries (I believe the harvest was about 30 wild ones and 1 big red one), we inspected the trees, kids played on the play set. We ate dinner outside. Ah, just thinking about all of it makes me happy!

Tonight, we are going over to my parents' house. Today would have been my grandfather's 100th birthday - so we are having dinner and then will be looking at some old photos.

I know spring time is hectic for many families. How do you keep things from falling apart?