Family Stuff

We are at a (relatively) good spot with the kids (tfu-tfu).

We've had lots of good conversations! They ask interesting questions. They are thoughtful. They are funny. And for now, they seem to be very interested in sharing their thoughts and listening to our opinion about things. I have no idea how long this will last - the older two are on the brink of teenage-dom. Isn't that when kids think the parents are out of touch with reality and get annoyed by everything we say?

I already get the whole "mom, you are SO last-century! No one uses phone to call - everyone texts!" and "mom, we are the only family that doesn't eat xyz, all the Americans do this!". But it is, for now, all said rather fondly - and not meant to offend.

Meals together are now so much less stressful than 5 years ago. Everyone is able to feed themselves! We have conversations! We tell jokes! Kids still tend to talk over each other and don't always have the patience to listen to their siblings. Not sure if that will ever change...

We haven't been out eating in a restaurant in years. Even before the pandemic, it felt stressful to go out with 3 young-ish kids, so we mostly avoided it. Maybe we should try it (while there is a lull in local covid cases) - this would feel like a totally novel experience.

Speaking of family and siblings... my mom is afraid to talk to her sister (who currently lives in the US). Because of the war in Ukraine. My parents have been very much horrified by what Putin has been doing. My mom never liked him (because of his KGB connection) - good instincts. My dad, on the other hand, had some respect for Putin - until now. So, my parents are very firmly in anti-Putin camp. My mom is not sure what her sister's take on the situation is. She (my aunt) has lived in Kharkiv for many years, and so did my grandparents. They had a horrible time with anti-Semitism while there. So did my dad's best friend (who ended up moving to Belarus because of all the issues he was having).

So, my mom is terrified that she and her sister are going to end up on the opposite sides of the barricade, so to speak.

Mom's sister-in-law and my cousin are in Taganrog, Russia. It's a small city not far from Ukraine. They've been in touch through WhatsApp, but I feel like we need to have some sort of backup communication plan in case Russia declares WhatsApp off-limits, or Meta decides to shut off WhatsApp for Russian citizens. They never talk about politics - just basic things, like are you OK and is everyone healthy. We have no idea what their opinions are - and we wouldn't want to put them at risk in any way, therefore, we watch what we say (and they watch what they say).

How do you work around any in-family political disagreements? Avoid the subject altogether, disown family members with offending viewpoints, politely nod and smile while wishing you could strangle the other person?

Weekend Report

Things have been tough and I have been tired and demoralized.

Last week was a blur of activities. I stayed afloat (didn't forget to do anything important) - but barely.

This weekend:

Saturday

• H had gymnastics and C had her first spring soccer game.
• E had to finish up some homework.
• We drove to see family in rural PA for a birthday part and stayed overnight at the grandparents house.
• It was great to see family. The weather was beautiful and we went for a walk.

Sunday

• Hike at the Hawk Mountain. We didn't see any hawks, but saw quite a few turkey vultures and a bald eagle.
• Kids had fun hiking (because it was beautiful and because their cousins were there).
• Got back home and got started on regular chores and week prep.
• Talked to E about summer plans (he can research various volunteer, summer camp, and job options for himself).

Forsythias are blooming. Daffodils have opened around the yard. Our trees are about to sprout leaves and flowers. I should be happier and more excited about spring . Instead, all I want is to hide under the blanket and eat chocolate. 

Dark Thoughts

 I am glad I am alive.

What I have is this moment.

I don't know what tomorrow is going to bring. But that hasn't changed - we never know if there will be a tomorrow. We just assume that we will get to have another day, and then another, and then another.

We have our home, we have food, we have water. There are no bombs falling on our heads. (not yet)

We don't have to hide in bomb shelters. (there are no bomb shelters around here)

We don't have to evacuate. 

There is a terrible war in Ukraine. People are dying. Everything is being destroyed. 

There is a terrible situation in Russia - the impending economic collapse may be worse than what happened after the collapse of the USSR. Will the fall of economy bring about hatred and violence? That was a rhetorical question.

My son has asked me what we would do if the nuclear strike was coming.

I am angry and heartbroken that (thanks, Putin) he needs to think about that.

I told him that we would get our family together, eat good food, tell stories, play games, and laugh.

I am telling myself to "always look on the bright side of life..."

• Today, right now, we are alive and well.
• If there is a nuclear war, we will no longer need to worry about global warming.

Termination Shock

 Neal Stephenson, Termination Shock.

It made me look up facts, and geographic locations, and events, and technologies. Stephenson is amazing at taking what we have today and extending it a step or two further.

I don't always agree with his protagonists. But that only makes reading more interesting.

This was something that rang true:

"..he had arrived at the conclusion that political stability anywhere was an illusion that only a simpleton would believe in. That (invoking, here, a version of the anthropic principle) such simpletons only believed they were right when and if they just happened to live in places that were temporarily stable. And that it was better to live somewhere obviously dangerous, because it kept you on your toes."

Except I don't particularly want to be kept on my toes, so I'd rather live in a place that is temporarily stable, even if it is only an illusion.

Stephenson was very, very convincing in describing the reactions of China and India to the weather-changing technologies in the book. 

Russia was completely missing from the picture. I suspect he did it on purpose but I am not sure why. United States was described as a mess and a laughingstock of the world - but there were no details (but we can fill in the blanks, so to speak).

Verdict: liked it a lot.