Weekend Report and Week Plan

Friday afternoon:

• 4:20 pm picked up E from cross country practice
• Frantically tried to finish up work
• 5 pm - helped set up for "Pasta Night" at E's teammate's house
• 6:30 Pasta Night for the cross country team, to get the boys ready for the next day's race (a few parents work together to prepare insane amounts of pasta, meatballs, salad, and dessert). After the boys are all set with their food, the parents eat, hang out, chat. It was fun but also exhausting - not because of food prep, but because of being an introvert. Keeping up with multiple conversations on a Friday night is just hard.
• While this was going on, my husband rushed home from work to get our youngest to her swim practice at 6.

Saturday:

• 8 am: husband took H to dive practice
• I didn't sleep well the night before, so I was super-tired all Saturday. In the morning, I made "cheesniki" - sort of pancakes with ricotta cheese (I typically use cottage cheese, but wanted to do something different - and I also added a bit of pumpkin puree). The reaction from kids was "not bad." Apparently, much better than my experiment with scrambled eggs from a couple of days ago (those came out really weird).
• C's swim practice was cancelled. 
• I took the girls shopping. H found a dress for homecoming. I spent a few relaxing minutes in a coffee shop (I tried cortado - it was great!) while they were looking at some other stuff.
• E's race was at 2:30 at a nearby park, so we went and cheered him on. He came in 8th in the JV race.
• C's soccer was at 4 at the middle school field - I dropped her off and then went across the street to the park to watch the cross country varsity race. The top runners are insanely fast. 
• Walked back to watch the rest of C's soccer game (her team won and C, who likes playing defense, made a few very nice saves).
• Walked back to the park with C and her friend to watch the awards ceremony for cross country.
• Walked back to the middle school with all the kids and drove home. 
• There was a lot of back-and-forth walking... the park is right across the street from the middle school. We probably spent more time waiting for the light to change at a crosswalk (it's a very busy street) then actually walking.
• Got home, made + ate dinner. 
• Folded laundry and watched the last few episodes of Schitt's Creek. I am going to miss this show!

Sunday:

• Hebrew School for the girls (H is a teacher aide)
• Worked a bit in the morning
• 12pm: took E to work and picked up the girls + had lunch with my parents
• H had a make-up piano lesson.
• C and I did some food shopping
• 2pm: C had a Hebrew lesson and I chatted with a friend about the challenges of pre-teens and teens.
• After we got home, my husband worked on painting the hallway while I prepared dinner and did more laundry.
• 7pm: C's make-up cello lesson (the lessons got moved from their usual Monday spot because of Back-to-School night at the high school)
• 9pm: Did a bit more work and  chatted with kids for a while about random things. 

This week's game plan:

• Monday: Back-to-School Night!!!! Also, E's driving test. 
• Tuesday: E has another race and then orchestra rehearsal, while the girls have first swim (C) and then dive (H) practices. My husband has a work dinner thing, so I'm solo-parenting all evening.
• Wednesday: It's October!!! And Yom Kippur starts in the evening.
• Thursday: Yom Kippur. The kids and I will go to services (E and H volunteer to help out with taking care of little kids while the parents are at services. C will probably will hang out with them and her friends most of the time). As usual, I'll fast as long as I can - I start eating if I feel faint or intensely angry.
• Friday: kids are off but I am working. C has swimming.
• Saturday/Sunday: we've got the swim lesson (C), Homecoming dance (H), Hebrew School (C+H), soccer game (C)... Husband and E are planning to go out of town to visit a college. The kids need fall and winter clothing, so maybe we'll do some more shopping.

Role Models and Anti-Models

There are some people I look at, and I am thinking "I want to be THEM when I grow up."

Then again, there are people I look at and it's "Please G-d, don't let me become THAT."

The kids and I went to the Rosh Hashanah services yesterday. They went off to volunteer and help out with little kids and I ended up sitting by myself. I meant to use that time to think deeply and to figure out goals & life direction, that sort of thing. But, as it happens every year, I ended up paying attention to the services - some of the time - and people-watching. There were also random thoughts that kept popping up in my head.

1. It is very special to feel like I am part of this community

2. This is a big part of the reason why we came to the US - to be able to participate in a Jewish community without fear

3. Safety concerns are very real - I wouldn't call it fear, but there's definitely been an increase in awareness and training on safety protocols at our schul (a place of gathering/prayer/synagogue)

3. It is good to see friends

4. People-watching is the best. There was a weird passive-aggressive squabble over seats (mainly, older folks were oblivious and taking over someone else's seat, and younger folks were oblivious that it would be hard for some people to squeeze through into the middle of a row - especially with walkers)

5. Some people have the most beautiful voices. I wish I could sing better

There is a person in our congregation, a few years older than me (let's call her A) - she is strong, and not afraid to share opinions, and speaks multiple (3 or 4?) languages, and ... let's just say, if I needed life advice - she would be the person to ask. She might not actually give advice, but she would have a few names of people she would suggest I talk to. She is not afraid to wear bright colors. She is absolutely unafraid to be herself. Now, I don't know if I really want to become A - we are just too different.  I am too fearful of everything and I will never be enough of a grown-up. But it's great to have a person like her that I can have on my "admire" list.

There is another person in our congregation. Let's call her M. She is probably in her late 60's or early 70's. She comes across as the most grouchy, bitter, unfriendly person - and I always think about how I absolutely do not want to become like her. [to be fair, I do not not her well and maybe she is wonderful and kind when you get to know her... but every interaction the kids and I have had with her has been... unpleasant. Also, she may have very legitimate reasons to be grumpy and unfriendly, but that's not the point here.] Unfortunately, I feel like I have all the pre-conditions and personality traits to become exactly like M and worse. I don't really know what to do about that, other than remind myself "do not be like M!"

Do you have people in your life that you want to try and be more like them? Do you have people in your life that you hope you won't turn into as you get older?

Coffee & Things

/got the idea for this from Daria - thank you Daria!/

Hello there,

Sit down, make yourself comfortable. How about a cup of coffee? Or, perhaps, tea? I've got a full drawer of tea: green, black, and everything in between.

How is September treating you? Do you also have the whiplash feeling of things spiraling out of control? Yeah, same.

It's busy but it's also fun. That said, I need to be mindful of the every-day mayhem and where it's taking me. A year or two ago, I felt like driving the kids to different activities/meets/music lesson multiple times every single day was something to hold on to and enjoy - because in just a few years, they will all be grown up and off doing their own grown-up things. So, of course I should lean into spending as much time and effort on the day-to-day life with them as possible. Except, after a few months, the burn-out set in and I started feeling grumpy and resentful and angry.

So, on one hand, I need to remind myself - they are growing up so fast! - lean in and enjoy the mayhem and the crazy tetris of activities. But on the other hand, I also need to remind myself - leave time for the quiet solo walks, the reading, the daydreaming.

Speaking of reading... I've been in a bit of a reading slump. Life has been stressful (and not just because of kids' activities: there's my parents' health stuff, there are some hard choices I need to make about work, there is the world-at-large) and I just haven't been able to escape into books. 

I am still reading - just not much. I finished Katarin Kariko's autobiography "Breaking Through: My Life in Science". It was a good read: inspiring and thought-provoking. It avoided the "me, me, me" pitfall of some of the autobiographical works. It was about science, it was about family, it was about hard work. 

But that's pretty much it for what I've read in August and September. I started "The Murders in Great Diddling" by Katarina Bivald - I remember enjoying her other books - but reading is feeling more like a chore and less like and escape (and this is not the book's fault!).

How about you - any interesting non-fiction reads? What about fiction? Have you encountered anything that you feel is turning your life upside down? I love books like that - but you have to be in the right mindset for that sort of thing...

Oh, my coffee is getting cold.

I hope you have a fantastic weekend. I hope you find balance for all the "must-do's" and all the "want-to-do's" and also the "let's do nothing-do's".

Walls

Sometimes I have a hard time believing it, but we've been in our house for more than 10.5 years. This is   the longest I've ever lived anywhere!

The previous owners did a nice job with choosing wall paint for the common living space - the house looked good and the paint colors were neutral enough to go with everything, so we never bothered to do anything with the living/dining/family room walls. The walls in the entry hallway were dark-chocolate brown, which seemed like an odd choice for a small poorly lit area, but just sort of worked with the flow and color schemes of the rooms. So for a decade, we just kind of shrugged - yeah, the hallway is a bit dark, but it's kind of bold and statement-like. 

It's funny, because I was just talking to C's friend's parents, and they said that when they bought their brand-new house, they asked that all the walls are painted in a very neutral, light-gray color, because they weren't sure they were going to stay there and because they wanted something that would be "agreeable" if they put the house on the market. Well, they decided to stay, and after staring at their light-gray walls for a bunch of years, they feel "meh" and want a change. They want something bright, something interesting, something that makes a statement. They are tired of neutrality.

And I feel exactly the same (but in the opposite way) - after more than 10 years of chocolate-brown hallway, I feel "meh" about the walls. I want something different: something understated, something that can be brightened up with a vase, or a picture, something that's not someone else's bold statement. 

So, this weekend, we started taping up the woodwork, my husband started spackling, and I started putting down a couple of layers of primer.

We are going to go with light gray that has a bit of a blue tint in it. 

But I am not completely opposed to the idea of an accent wall that has a bit more color in it. Just not dark-brown.

Do you have a favorite wall color?

Thursday Thoughts: September 2025

How is it that tomorrow is Friday? I feel like the week just started.

Happy things:

• Kids are sharing stories about their teachers and classmates
• Beautiful weather
• Husband and I went for a walk in the park this morning, before starting work

Sad things:

• Family meals - it's rare that we can get everyone at the table at the same time
• Politics 
• Economy
• Wars
• Poverty
• Anti-science crap 
• Anti-vaccine crap
• Global warming
• Today is 9/11

Anxiety-inducing things:

• Pretty much everything in the news
• Purchasing a new violin
• Laundry baskets (I can't even look at them!)
• Hallway walls (I got paint, brushes, tape: I just need to find the time to actually do the painting!)
• Work to-do list

Pizza Sushi

There is a cafe in Tallinn, not far from the old city. There is a very generic worn-out sign on an apartment building, saying "Pizza Sushi", and then there is a flight of stairs leading down into the basement.

Once you take those stairs and walk through the double-doors, you find yourself in a small cafe: 5-6 tables covered in checkered table cloths, a counter with a line-up of alcohol behind it, a few menus. Familiar music may be playing in the background - you can't place it at first, but then you recognize it as a theme from an old Soviet TV show "Seventeen Moment of Spring." 

This may or may not be important: "Seventeen Moments of Spring" is about a Soviet spy operating in Nazi Germany under the name "Stirlitz." Everyone from the USSR knows Stirlitz even if they've never seen the TV show - in part, because of numerous jokes [Stirlitz was out on a stroll when he heard a vehicle approaching from behind. "It will just have to go around me," shrugged Stirlitz, as he continued walking on the train track]. The music (beautiful and haunting) from the show is famous.

I digress.

Imagine, you and your family are tired and hungry, and you make a beeline for the counter and pick up a menu. There is a long list of pizzas and sushi and drinks and what-nots - but you dont' really get a chance to have a good look, because a man (possibly the owner?) comes to the counter, shakes his head, and proceeds to speak in rapid Estonian while carefully taking the menu out of your hands. 

What would you do?

Dear Reader, I did what I usually do when in an unfamiliar situation and unsure of how to respond.

I froze.

The man then switched to perfect fluent Russian.

This, it turned out, was not a real menu - this was just Pizza and Sushi. If we were interested in eating, here were the options:

[And he proceeded to rapidly list  a bunch of very Russian-sounding dishes]

I translated the options to my family.

The owner (let's call him Viktor) made recommendations: "Try this and this, the best things on the menu today!"

We sat down at one of the larger tables, and had one of the best meals ever. The food was absolutely amazing. 

There were a couple of other people scattered at the tables - all having their meals alone. Some were looking at their phones. One person seemed to be watching a movie while eating. Everyone was studiously ignoring the big noisy American family.

They were all speaking Russian.

Viktor came out to ask how we liked the food. We loved it - the best food we've had all trip. But did he happen to have any Blinchiki?  

Not today. But if we come back tomorrow, Viktor would make Blinchiki for us.

We came back the next day and had Blinchiki, and Pelmeni, and Fish Kotleti. Again, all absolutely delicious.

There were more Russian customers in the cafe on the second day. Viktor's son, Grisha, was helping out and chatting with the visitors.

I kept wondering: the Pizza Sushi menu - was that some kind of code? If one ordered "Pizza Marinara" - did that have a hidden meaning that was telegraphed over to Moscow from a hidden sub-basement full of spy equipment?

Is the cafe a front for the KGB? 

Truth be told, I want more of those Fish Kotlieti. In fact, Viktor promised next time we come to Tallinn, he would make Zrazi for us. 

Luckily, we are pretty much nobodies with no connections - so unlikely we need to worry about Novichok being slipped into our food.

Have you ever had run-ins with the secret police?

Back to School

 We've got 11th, 10, and 6th grades! This is the kids' first week back to school. So far, they like most of their teachers, they are happy to see their friends, and they like their classes (for the most part).

C (6th grade) is not too thrilled about Graphic Design. 

H (10th grade) complained that her Algebra II class is bad because she didn't have any friends in it. (She is very happy to have a ton of friends who are taking Bio with her)

E (11th grade) finally has real lunch again this year! But he is complaining that there is not enough food and he is still hungry all the time. He is planning to make himself a ton of stir-fried rice to pack for tomorrow. (Last year, he did lunch-and-learn, where he took an extra class instead of lunch period)

Not all activities and clubs started quite yet, so this week is on the quiet side.

It's going to get busier next week because the girls will start swim (C) and dive (H). And soccer is starting this Saturday (C).

It's weirdly quiet most of the day... And then the kids come home and life explodes again :)

The Enemy of Good

I finally bought a few drawer organizers and wall hooks for the kitchen. The baking drawer has been a mess since we renovated the kitchen - all those measuring cups, spoons, spatulas, and whisks, and innumerable other tools - either floating around the drawer or being stuck in the old organizer bin that was no longer a good fit for the drawer.

In the old kitchen, I had a drawer wide enough to fit my 2 favorite organizer bins side-by-side.

I love my old organizer 

 The new drawer is just a little more narrow, but also deeper.

I kept looking for exactly the same organizers - they are so sturdy and well-made - hoping to find the same make but slightly different dimensions. I am pretty sure I originally got them from IKEA about 15 years ago.

IKEA does not sell them anymore. I did not like the new styles for drawer dividers from IKEA. I had to look elsewhere.

And I looked, and looked - and there just wasn't anything I loved. Nothing seemed quite perfect.

I eventually came to a decision to just get something. I drew a grid to figure out what sizes would fit together the best. I got a few bamboo trays of different sizes from Amazon and a few more from Lowes. A few trays came yesterday - and I put them in. I filled them with the measuring spoons and cups, whisks, and spatulas. Not perfect, but good enough. Two thirds of the drawer are now organized! 

New organizers

In the meantime, I can keep an eye out for those perfect drawer organizers - while having my tools nice and neat inside maybe-imperfect trays. Maybe I'll find something better. Maybe not. But it feels so good to just make a decision and move on.