Shortcuts

I've been reading about life hacks on some of the blogs I regularly visit - they were fun to read but most don't seem particularly relevant to my daily life.

It got me thinking - do I have any cool shortcuts that help me be my most efficient self?

Nope. 

In fact, it seems that I am all about inefficiency. 

I take extra-long time to do everything. And that's OK! I am giving myself permission to take my time. It definitely results in doing less overall. It's not because it's better this way, it's not because I've discovered some "zen" secret to life, it's not like I find some extra meaning in being inefficient and spending extra time on mundane tasks.

This is just me, this is who I've always been (I believe "poky" is the word).

I started this post thinking I would write about a clever trick that can make your life easier... I am ending it with: I am sorry! No shortcuts here! I take the long way!

29

Yesterday was the 29th anniversary of our immigration to the Unites States.

Twenty nine years ago, we were exhausted, overwhelmed, and bewildered. Trying to find our way in a new country, trying to adjust, trying to survive.

Hot dogs - seriously? Who are these people?

Wonder Bread - ugh, what is it made of?

Random people waving at you and saying hi - omg, is there something on my face?    

Sour cream - why is it so solid and jelly-like? 

School - wow! so many people! from so many places! 

Streets of our town - why is no one walking in the streets? 

Streets of our town - cars actually stop for pedestrians! Amazing and unexpected! 

Twenty nine years in the US... My kids have been born here. I've come to love so many things (but not wonder bread, or doughnuts, or marshmallows) about living here. National and state parks! Basic life comforts (like, toilet paper in most public toilets... rest areas when you are driving....)! Career opportunities! My kids growing up as part of a local Jewish community! Quality dental and medical care (sky-high expensive, but definitely very, very good).

How would have things worked out if we were able to stay in Latvia in the 90's? Honestly, I don't wonder about that too much.

Theater

We all went to see "Red Riding Hood" at Arden Theater last weekend. It was everything I love: great storytelling without "dumbing down" for kids. Treating audience as intelligent human beings. Fantastic acting. Funny, sensitive, without taking itself too seriously. Arden is doing "The BFG" next year - I am excited (even though I am not a huge fan of Roald Dahl).

Our 14-year old is probably ready for some more grown-up plays... Will have to see what local theaters are doing.

What's your favorite way to experience stories (other than books)? Theater? Musicals? Movies? Opera?

Weekend Report: May Edition

It was a very, very busy weekend.

We spent most of Saturday in Philly. Our oldest was playing at the Kimmel Center with the Young Musician Orchestra. The concert was amazing. We also walked around the city quite a bit (in the rain... but it wasn't too bad), ate at a Greek place, had chocolate treats, fought (yes, family drama - can't live without it), and soaked it all in... So proud of our son. I keep re-watching our recording of the concert - still can't get my head around it.

After we got home, we all stayed up too late... the girls went to our neighbor's backyard for an outdoors movie night (they have a projector + screen). E., his best friend and I watched The Matrix.

Sunday, I had a quiet solitary morning (after a very filling breakfast made by husband and kids). I read, I went to the farmers market, and then I visited my parents (and brought fresh-picked strawberries). I came home with a pile of green onions (from dad), roses (from mom), and more onions for planting.

After a quick lunch, we all went to a local arboretum for a walk. The kids wanted to do their own independent thing, so we let them - and went on to explore all the blooming rhododendrons. The kids were fine but they did some things with a wagon* that will make me think 10 times before letting them be unsupervised in a park.

We had take-out dinner (Indian food), then watched Beetlejuice, then went to bed.

Somewhere along the way everyone managed to practice, we did laundry, and took care of some weeds.

*They did ask for permission to use that wagon - they were told to go ahead and borrow it as long as they bring it back (which they did). They did not break it and no one got hurt... but riding down the hill in a wagon - that's just such a bad idea. Seriously, what were they thinking?

Extra Heavy Load

My 7-th grader's backpack weighs almost as much as she does.

Seriously. This is insane. She has to sit down to put it on.

I am worried. 

No amount of discussion or logic reasoning have helped to convince her to unload the thing.

We argued, we fought, we tried to be as convincing as possible. There is no good reason (from parental perspective) why her backpack needs to have so much stuff - it's practically bursting at the seams. 

Here is what she throws back at us:

• Everyone else has a backpack as heavy as hers or even heavier.
• She can't leave anything at home - because she needs everything at school.
• She can't leave anything at school - because what if she needs something at home?
• There is no time to go to her locker. Therefore, even if she could leave something at school - she wouldn't do it.
• "It's my back and my health!"
• A substantial chunk of the weight is because she has to carry her chromebook with her at all times. (I don't think it weighs all that much... but convincing the 12-year old? Ha.)
• Her water bottle is heavy (really?)
• She has to carry her gym stuff with her (they have lockers! I don't know why she doesn't use them!)

I am tempted to:

1. Sabotage the backpack.
2. Sneak into her backpack at night, take stuff out, deal with consequences when she notices.
3. Hire someone to carry the backpack for her.

Here is what I probably should do:

1. Talk to pediatrician - see if they are more successful in making her see reason (and discussing potential harm of super-heavy backpacks).
2. Talk to other parents (not sure what good that would do, but couldn't hurt).
3. Keep talking to H and nagging about making the thing lighter/leaving stuff in her locker.
4. Replace her backpack with a smaller backpack that she wouldn't be able to shove as much stuff into.

Any advice???

Houseguest

We had a houseguest!

No, really, first time in forever - there was someone who stayed with us for a few days. 

We used to have a dedicated guest room but because a) no one ever stayed over and b) kids really wanted to have separate rooms, we ended up converting it to our youngest daughter's bedroom. So, for a while now, we've been using all our 4 bedrooms. 

We have a finished attic that does a double-duty as my study and a playroom. There is a futon that usually only gets used by my husband when I am sick and cough too much. There is a door. There are separate air conditioning and electric heating system. Plenty of outlets

The guest stayed all weekend, and the study/playroom was all his. It worked pretty well - he had a large private space. He was a very easy guest and did not complain about kids asking him a million questions, or food, or the attic space. 

The kids loved having this guest -  he is family that they've never met before, he is from Australia, and he  studied airspace engineering and physics. 

I've only met him once before, long time ago, when he was still a toddler. So it was definitely fun to get to know him and hear about the family branch that we never get to see.

Readers - where and how do you situate guests? Do you offer your bedroom, or move your kids around, or offer a living room couch, or have a dedicated guest room, or have some other setup where the guest can sleep?

Parenting Struggles

I am struggling with setting (and enforcing) clear screen rules for older kids. 

They have their school computers and I have no idea how in the world I am supposed to keep track when they are doing actual work versus when they are consuming ghastly quantities of YouTube Shorts. The 8th grader has a phone - and again, it's a struggle to know when he is using it to communicate (rarely) versus watch random stuff. Also, he is often in his room, with door closed, doing his own thing - how do I balance giving him privacy with making sure  he does not spend all his free time attached to screens? (Same with the 7th grader except she doesn't have a phone yet).

They are good kids and I trust them (mostly) but I feel, for the first time, like what I am doing is not enough. But I don't know what else to do.

When kids were younger (and this is still the case with our 9 year old) - it was much easier because they didn't have any devices. The played with toys, they read, and they had limited parent-supervised screen time on weekends (a movie, or husband's ancient Nintendo, or Minecraft on my computer).

How do I figure it out? How do I learn what's best for my kids - besides trial-and-error? 

There is such a range of parenting approaches - how to know what's right for our family?

I don't want to be super-controlling... but I don't want to be oblivious... and it seems like it's all too easy to be oblivious. With older kids, what they tell me about school and friends is only a small fraction of what actually happens and does not necessarily paint a true picture of their reality. 

I want to be aware of any problems (loneliness, toxic friends, drugs, bullying) - but it's not like they'll just sit down and tell me. The fact that they are not telling me about any problems in their lives may mean that they are happy and everything is fine... or it may mean they are just not telling me stuff.

May

And just like that - we are in May.

• It's been rainy and rather cool, but everything looks beautiful with bright greens and blooming plants everywhere. 
• The kids and I started watching season 3 of "His Dark Materials" last weekend. It's weird and entertaining and conversation-provoking.
• The school activities don't feel too out-of-control this year.
• Our oldest has a bunch of concerts coming up (one for school, one for local  youth orchestra, and one with his violin teacher's class). The girls have a piano recital in a couple of weeks.
• I believe 8th grade has some special stuff, like a dance, and maybe even a graduation ceremony - but - I don't really care. My son will go if he wants to go. No big deal. 
• There are a few more track & field meets - I want to go at least to 1 for each kid.
• Ah yes, there is one more thing that I need to do before the school year ends - Mystery Reader. I did it for the older kids - so much fun. I'll email C's teacher today. The time is running out...