Weekend Report

 War in Ukraine.

It puts things into perspective, doesn't it. 

We complain that we were so traumatized by our kids having to stay home from school for months at at time, having to isolate, not being able hang out with our friends.

I did not have to leave my home. I did not have to live in bomb shelters. I did not have the uncertainty of not knowing where I was going to end up tomorrow. I did not feel in imminent danger of death, losing my kids, or losing my country. I did not feel unsafe to the point of having to get out of the country.

I do not want to minimize the suffering the the covid pandemic has brought on. But war - that's a whole other level.

May we never know.

This weekend:

• Our son had his first ever sleepover at his friends place. He had a blast.
• I did some work
• I read junky stuff - just to escape reality
• Laundry, cooking
• Started watching season 2 of His Dark Materials with kids
• Girls had gymnastics on Saturday
• Read the news. Read people's opinions about war. Tried to figure our what the perspective of people was in Russia (hard to tell - I don't know how much people are censored and how much is just naked propaganda - that there is a general sense of discontent among some, while others are blaming the US for causing the war).
• Sad, sad, sad.

News: the Good, the Bad, and the Sad

I had a mammogram and ultrasound yesterday - part of a regular check-up. I always get very anxious in the days before the imaging. Because you never know what they are going to find.

I am happy to say - there was nothing new. 

Weight off my shoulders. At least for a few months, and then I'll get to look forward to the next thing (I get mammogram or MRI every 6 months because of the high risk for breast cancer).

******************

Ukraine and Russia - I don't know how to express the horror, the sadness, and the hopelessness I am feeling. My grandparents lived in Kharkiv for more than 10 years. I have very fond memories of going to the nearby store to get fresh bread and eggs for my grandmother, getting ice cream from a street vendor  (best vanilla ice cream I ever had), going to the zoo (they had these amazing sugar candies on a stick, in the shape of a rooster, that you could suck on for hours), the circus (at age 4, I sobbed uncontrollably when I saw clowns perform because they were breaking a piano as part of their joke act), the parks. I loved getting on the subway there - it was all granite and marble (and lots of patriotic images) - that same subway that people are using as a bomb shelter now. This is insanity. It's like watching an old World War II movie, except this is happening now.

*******************

One of my dad's cousins, Big Rosa, passed away recently. Just a little over a year after Little Rosa.

*******************

Our school district is doing away with mask requirements starting next week. I am OK with that - the covid numbers are down in our area and our entire family is vaccinated. Kids say they still pan to wear masks in crowded hallways. 

I feel like I should take advantage of this moment and plan activities that may become undesirable once the next covid wave hits. Like going to a museum, or a movie theater, or the concert hall. Or the middle school musical - I think we'll do that next week. (I do hope there will be no more major covid waves... yes, stupid to hope for something so unlikely).

No Words

 War.

Russia and Ukraine.

No words.

I don't know what to trust.

Because this is going to be an information war, as much as the physical war with tanks and bombs.

I know enough to know that I can't trust my eyes or ears: what I read, what I see, what I hear - that's all going to vary wildly depending on the source of information. And everything can be faked - or angled "just so" to create a specific message.

I don't understand what Russia's angle is - are they "liberating" Ukraine from the control of the "decadent West"? And then what? I get it that they didn't want NATO in Ukraine - that's like having the enemy in your neighbor's back yard - I just didn't think Putin would actually go for full-blown freaking war. I don't understand what the long-term objective would be - world domination? Or am I missing a critical piece of information there that's not accessible to me because I am in the US?

***********

There are some that are saying that only the military targets will be hit.

There are some that are saying that the Ukranian forces and preparing footage of civilian casualties and destruction - ahead of the actual Russian attacks.

There are some that are saying that people in Donetsk have been living with casualties and destruction (because of the Ukranian forces) for years and no one has cared.

There are some saying that there will be provocations, where Ukranians, dressed as Russian Army, will be creating chaos and disseminating videos to the rest of the world, making Russia look bad.

There are some that are saying that Russia is going to install its own puppet government in Ukraine.

There are some that are saying that Russia is just doing what the US has been doing in Latin America.

There are some that are saying that the Ukranians shouldn't care if they end up with Russia-controlled government. Because they hadn't cared about having US-controlled government.

There are some that are saying that this is the time when agricultural work should be starting in the fields... which now may or may not be possible because of the war.

My husband says "This is World War 3".

Will Russia stop at Ukraine? Will it go into Poland? Romania?

Are we having the Russia/China alliance against the West? 

Also - Ukraine is big. Western Ukraine is NOT going to be just sitting back and doing nothing.... Historically, Western Ukraine seems to be very nationalistic - sometimes in a scary way (or is this the propaganda I absorbed as a kid in the USSR?) It brings to mind places like Eastern Washington. People with guns (supplied by the US?) who will be prepared to fight guerilla war for decades if Russia takes over the government. 

There are some who are worried about once again living in a dictatorial state, behind an iron curtain. There are some who are shrugging and appearing to not care.

I hate this. I hate war. 

There is nothing I can do.

There is not much (good) that the US can do. Because we are a mess.

Too Many "No School" Days

 Kids had half-day on Thursday, then they were off on Friday, and we were all off on Monday. In March, the kids are going to have a 5-day weekend (Thursday-Monday) - no idea what I'm going to do... I don't really want to take time off (because I am taking the whole week off for spring break, plus I have a bunch of medical appointments coming up that I'll have to take some half-days), we no longer have any childcare arrangements, there are no camps that we know of... Having 3 kids at home, with no scheduled activities, while working = not good. Why are they having a break just a couple of weeks before the spring break - that makes no sense.

What got done over the long weekend:

• We went ice skating again at the outdoor rink! It was mostly fun (except for some annoying kids who kept zooming around every which way, and some teenagers who were oblivious to everyone else and were cursing*).
• We went for a hike to a new (for us) state park. It was a beautiful day, the hike was very scenic, but we had to cut it a bit short because we needed to get back home in time for E's Hebrew lesson. Which then got cancelled. But the girls were happy to not have to hike for too long. And it was super muddy - there is only so much mud-squelching one can do. So, all-in-all, a good hike but I want to go back when it's not as muddy and do a longer hike there.
• H was sick for a couple of days but all better now.
• C had a sleepover with the grandparents (technically, it was H's turn, but she couldn't go because she was not feeling well.)
• We watched some more Olympics
• Our heater hasn't been working right for the last couple of weeks. So, on Saturday, husband took it apart... and one of the parts broke. So we lost all heat - while it was in the 20's F outside.
• We  had our 2 fireplaces going non-stop for over 24 hours. Two of the kids camped out in the attic, where there is electric heat, setting up camp and brining out the sleeping bags. H slept in her room, but in a sleeping bag and 2 blankets. Husband and I slept in the living room in front of the fire, which he had to take care of throughout the night.
• The house was chilly, but not totally frigid thanks to the fireplaces! We all enjoyed reading and playing board games within the 2 m radius of the fireplace. We did not enjoy stepping away from the fireplace...
• Husband managed to find the broken part on-line and had it shipped (I don't want to know how much he payed for next-day shipping). He was hoping that once he replaced that part, everything would work again.
• The replacement part did not fix the heater problem... The thing was going on and off every 5 second but no heat was produced. The problem actually got worse - before my husband started messing with the heater, it was not working well, but it was at least working some.
• After poking around on-line and poking around inside the heater parts, husband figured out that there was a rubber tube connecting A to B, and that rubber tube was not quite properly on. There was condensation inside the tube and some build-up of mysterious nature. After cleaning out and re-connecting the rubber tube, the heater started working!
• As of Monday morning, we have a warm house again! 
• Why we didn't call the experts first thing on Saturday, before husband took apart the heater in hopes of fixing it himself? Because we wanted to wait until weekday, because we did not consider the situation an emergency, because husband was hoping to fix the problem himself, because he likes saving money, because fixing things makes him so happy. Realistically, if we called someone on Saturday, we probably would not have the thing fixed by Monday morning. 
• There were also the usual chores - laundry, vacuuming, dishes...
• I baked Challah and it was a total disaster. I did not add enough yeast (misread the recipe), so it did not rise well and the whole thing turned out super-dense. We ate it all (some of it got made into french toast for Monday breakfast).

*Generally, I don't care if people are cursing. But it annoys me when they are cursing in a public place full of people, and not because something heavy fell on their foot but just to appear "cool". 

Highlights

 Lately, I've been feeling "meh". I've been retreating. Disappearing into reading, or into watching the Olympics, or just into my own head.

I guess part of it is just life stress - worries about the future and the present. Part of it is pure procrastination. Our son is to have his Bar Mitzvah in May, but I just don't want to plan - or do - anything. Part of me finds religion deep, and meaningful, and comforting, and a connection to other people. Part of me struggles with religion and feels the whole thing is just... not my cup of tea. I feel like in the US, being Jewish is intricately tied into religion. Growing up in the USSR, being Jewish (for our family) had almost nothing to do with religion and religion was not part of our lives at all.

Recent highlights:

• Ice skating! We all went to a near-by rink and it was so much fun. Even though I am terrible at it (can barely stay upright), I find something about gliding on the ice so... liberating.
• Olympics! We've been watching every night. Usually, this means my husband and I fall asleep in front of TV and wake up in the middle of the night groggy and disoriented. But I love, love, love watching it... love seeing the excitement, the daring, and the thrill of the wins! I love it all: figure skating, skiing, biathlon, snowboarding, curling.
• I want to practice cross-country skiing! Kids want to learn ski jumping. I NEVER want to down-hill ski (it just looks terrifying). "Big Air" - I was getting vertigo just looking at the hill. 
• Papadakis and Cizeron are amazing. Papadakis is beautiful (she has this distinguished and regal look).
• Nathan Chen is spectacular. I especially loved his short program.
• Russian women figure skaters - love watching them. Tutberidze (coach) may be evil or may be a genius. Or a bit of both. The stuff they are able to do, the difficulty of their skating programs is out of this world. Shcherbakova and Valieva have the expressiveness and the ballet-like gracefulness. But they all seem at or near the breaking point. The "old ones" Shcherbakova and Trusova - they are only 17....

Looking forward to:

• Watching season 2 of "His Dark Materials" with kids.
• Olympics being over (and getting back to normal sleep schedule)
• Spring break - have a house reserved and plan to do hiking, sight-seeing, and visiting the museum of glass in Corning.