Conference Notes 2

I got back yesterday. It's good to be home!

What I learned:

• Social skills can be improved with practice. When there is no practice, social skills (especially for me, conversation skills) become very, very rusty.
• I like people. I like getting to know people - where they went to school, what their hobbies are, what they are interested in.
• There are some people I don't particularly want to get to know.
• Silence is gold.
• When I feel awkward, people pick up on it.
• When I feel confident, people pick up on it.
• No one trusts AI.
• Making scientific and medical publications more accessible to patients (both in terms of actual access and in terms of using plain language) is empowering for patients.
• Plain language summaries provide language that can be used by doctors and nurses when they discuss complex medical situations with patients.
• There are no real shortcuts when doing gap analysis. It is still, mostly, brute force. 
• People like stories that they can connect to emotionally.

Conference Notes

Random thoughts from the conference. 

- overwhelming

- people everywhere

- my social skills are terrible

- people are very interesting

- honesty is over-rated

- lying is not the opposite of being honest

- silence is gold

Conference Angst

I am planning to go to a work conference in a few days. It has been a long, long time since I a) went anywhere on my own; b) attended a conference... I used to go to all types of science conference back in my grad school days (but that was different, and I was different, and the world was different). 

A couple of years ago, I attended a virtual conference - that was great! I didn't have to travel, or dress up, or talk to anyone.

And now - real-life conference, and I'll be required to look professional and have serious conversations with grownups.

This will probably be a good learning opportunity. I mean, publication planning - that's kind of part of what I do... sort of... A bunch of people from work are going, including Big Boss. 

I like writing. I don't like the business side of things or the strategic side of things. Or, G-d forbid, networking.

Can't I just hide under a table somewhere???

/Why or why did I agree to this???/

Goose Racket

Last week, my husband and I went for a brief lunchtime hike at a nearby park. We brought lunch with us, thinking we could find a shady spot next to the stream. 

Not so much for shade - the trees* haven't quite leafed in - but we did find an empty picnic table.

As soon as we set our stuff down on the table, a large goose (Canadian goose, to be specific) that has been snoozing nearby started to waddle over. It lowered it's head, opened it's mouth so that we could see the pink tongue, and started hissing. 

I live by paradigm that if you don't bother wildlife - they won't bother you. Not this time. We looked around to see if we were accidentally disturbing the goose's mate (it's egg-sitting time). Nope.

The thing just kept getting closer and closer, hissing non-stop.

It wouldn't leave us alone until we shared some carrots. Yeah, yeah, I know, no feeding wildlife and all that. But seriously, that goose had a racket thing going - if anyone wanted to use the table, they had to pay!

Goose Mafia.

*Speaking of trees - there were so many trees down on the trail! Ash, mostly. We have an ash tree growing right next to our house and we keep watching for signs of disease. Emerald ash borer has pretty much decimated ash trees in this area. We keep treating ours with insecticide - we'll see how it does.

To Do: Far Future

 I've got some ideas of what I may like to do once the kids are all grown up and have their own separate lives...

• Get a dog
• Get chickens
• Have a fabulous flower garden
• Have a fabulous vegetable garden
• Have a fabulous berry patch
• Make jams
• Travel to:
• Israel
• France
• Latvia
• Estonia
• Lithuania
• Norway
• Finland
• Sweden
• Travel by sleeper train (in a fancy sleeper car...)
• Read
• Make food to donate to shelters
• Volunteer - some sort of "tikkun olam" thing, like cleaning up parks, organizing clothing drives, helping HIAS

Then again - why wait? Maybe I can get started now... Kids can come along :)

Questions, questions...

I've been a bit "down in the dumps" lately. Feeling tired, irritable, and "meh" about everything.

We just came back from a spring break trip to Virginia. But it was like I was too tired and out of it to truly enjoy the time there...

My parents think we need to do "all inclusive" type vacation - where food is provided and no cleanup is required. I don't know... that sounds more stressful, in some ways.

Maybe that's it - maybe I'm just stressed out.

I am not sure how to get out of it. More solo hikes? More exercise? Get into more activities (volunteer? dance?) and go to art museums?

Or am I mirroring people around me (some of them are going through some very difficult times) and absorbing their emotions?

It's not like I can afford to do what I did when I was young (and relatively care-free): feel it,  wallow in sad emotions, read depressing books, and wait until it passes... Because, you know: 3 kids, a job, responsibilities, and about 1001 things that need to get done.

Jar of Pickles

When I was at UW, I lived at Hansee Hall for a couple of years. I loved having a single room. I loved the quirkiness of that dorm and the people who lived in it.

There was a guy there, I can't remember his name - Max? Mark? Maybe John?

I thought he was bonkers. Turned out, he was just slightly eccentric.

John could be found doing normal things at odd hours. Or the other way around. He would play soccer by himself in the middle of the night. Or he would watch the sci-fi channel in the common room, muttering something incoherent. Or he would be marching outside, in the night, in the rain, while singing very loudly in German. An acquaintance of mine said "Oh, don't worry, John is a really nice guy, just slightly unusual." I wasn't too worried - until the police came to talk to this John guy (I don't know why) - but I figured it wouldn't hurt to keep some distance.

I would never have known that he was, indeed, a genuinely nice guy, if it wasn't for pickles.

I get terrible cravings for pickles every once in a blue moon. What's worse than not having any pickles? Having a whole big jar of pickles that you can't open! 

So I wondered out into the common room, and John was sitting right there, watching something on TV and muttering to himself. So I risked it - went up to him and asked for help in my most polite voice. It took him a few moments to process what must have been a pretty weird request.

No, we did not become best buddies or share deep dark secrets. But from then on, we would smile and nod to each other, we would chat in the common room, and it just... felt good. To have an opportunity to get to know another human being, to have the chance to move them from the "weirdo I better stay away from" category to "nice guy with interesting opinions".

I do wonder if he remembers the weird girl who asked him to open a jar of pickles :)

Summer Plans and Ancient History

When it comes to vacations, my husband is the planner in the family. He got our whole summer trip planned out. We will be spending a week in Washington state (visiting family in Tacoma and Seattle area, going to Mt Rainer and Olympics) and then a week in Yellowstone. We got plane tickets, rentals, car. My contribution will be making sure that we all have comfortable clothing and shoes that fit, entertainment for the trip (audio books, puzzles, games, and anything else to help avoid screens), and looking into museums and fun events that we can participate in while we are there.

When in Seattle, I would like to go back to UW campus. It's been years, so many years. Oh, the quad where I used to sit on the grass... and the Suzzallo library... and the Physics building.

Yes, the Physics building. There was a boy once, who was a physics major, and who had access to the building keys. He took me up to the roof for a date. It wasn't as romantic as you might think. You don't really see the stars much in Seattle - too cloudy. Also, I am not a fan of heights. Things did not work out with that boy. But anyway, that's ancient history.

I have some very sad memories associated with that Physics building. 

Someone I cared about deeply told me he was going to kill himself. 

He didn't - not then, anyway. A few weeks later, we were in the courtyard of that very physics building - we laughed, we hugged, and I told him to take care of himself. I remember holding hands. And then he left the country - under rather mysterious circumstances. Seriously, Slow Horses "nervno kuryat v storonke". No, I don't actually think he was a failed spy. More like a compulsive liar? But not in a bad way. Because there are lies and there are lies. The stuff he lied about - it wasn't meant for personal gain or to hurt people. But still, it hurt people. Mostly him.

The suicide plans - those weren't a lie. He was preparing for months - telling people about this amazing job offer he got in Europe, how he was getting rid of all his stuff so that he wouldn't have to drag it with him. He kept asking me, over and over again, if I would remember him, after he left. 

Would you stay friends with a person if it turned out everything you knew about them was a lie?

Ancient history. 

But it still hurts to think about it. Maybe I should stay away from the Physics buildings.