Swimming, Rain, Rabbits

Kids opened the swimming pool season on Monday!

It was a rather cool, overcast day. We knew there would be thunderstorms in the afternoon. When the 2 younger kids asked to go to the pool, I was initially skeptical. It was kind of chilly! Also, I had work to do. Also, I was stressed out and wanted to hide somewhere with a book. And then I thought to myself: "Well... I could just bring a book to the pool and read there. And a walk to our neighborhood pool and back would force at least a tiny bit of much-needed exercise on me. And I barely spent any time hanging out with the kids over the long weekend... I should go!"

So I went. C and I walked over the the pool. H biked. E was already there because he was working as a lifeguard.

The water was a on the cold side, but not too bad (I put my toes in). There was no one else at the pool (one family stopped by for a couple of minutes but they left as soon as a light drizzle started up). I went to a lounge chair and opened my book. The girls jumped in and played in the water for about half an hour. And then they were cold/done/hungry. E jumped in for a few minutes during his break.

As C and I were walking home, it started raining - harder and harder. We were trying to hurry along, but it was kind of hard, wet flip-flops and all. So we draped a towel over our heads and giggled as we shuffled along the street. We must have been quite a sight. 

It was fun and I told C that it should be on our summer to-do list from now on: getting soaked in the summer rain. 

H, who stayed behind to hang out in a hot shower, caught up with us as we were nearing our house.

E got home a little later, after the pool company decided to close the pool.

The girls biked over to the pool again after school on Tuesday - they stayed about half an hour... They get bored if none of their friends are there. Also, the water is still pretty cold!

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The rabbits keep devouring things in our garden (they are digging under the fence and chicken wire to get in).  Emotionally, I am somewhere between  despair and murderous rage. Technically, rabbits are not kosher, but I may be beyond caring at this point. I really, really, really want rabbit stew. Because relocating a single rabbit that got caught in a trap inside our garden did not solve our problem.

Memorial Day Weekend 2024: Stress

This was a rough weekend.

There is a complete madhouse situation at work - I was plunked from my regular work and thrown into a stalled project that I have minimum experience with. The client is demanding and has been very unhappy with the progress of the project . I've been pretty much "thrown to the wolves". 

Yeah, melodramatic, I know.

I have an overwhelming amount of information to absorb. We were technically allowed to be off for the Memorial Day weekend starting at 1pm on Friday.

Nope, I needed to work all day Friday and into the evening.

I also worked on Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. To be fair - it was probably about 2-3 hours of work a day, at most. I spent time with the family and we did some fun things, so normally this wouldn't be that much of a bummer. A couple of hours of work a day during the weekends is not terrible (especially because I rarely feel I need to to it, so every once in a while, when there is a hot project, I'm usually OK with that).

This time around - I definitely was NOT OK with it. I was grumpy, resentful, and snapped at the kids when they kept interrupting me while I was cooking (no, really - do not mess with the cook, people! or deal with over-salted, burned, or otherwise inedible food).

The reason for all this unhappiness was that even when I was not working, my mind kept spinning, and ruminating, and agonizing over the project and dreading all the work that still needed to be done. I just wasn't able to compartmentalize and disconnect from the work-induced stress.

Ah well. Moving on.

I keep telling myself - this is not like grad school. I can quit. I can look for another job. Or, here's a thought - I can do a terrible job and the client will fire us and I won't have to deal with this pile of doo-doo anymore. 

Or maybe I'll just do the best I can and let things be what they will be.

Thermoregulation

Not naming names or point fingers here, but let's just say at least 1 (or more) of my kids completely bewilder me when it comes to getting dressed and ready for school.

What's going on with:

• Refusing to wear winter jackets in the winter and wearing hoodies instead, all winter long. Aren't they cold??? It's below freezing at least some of the time around here. <<My parents would faint if I did this as a kid - they always made sure I was bundled up in 15 layers... even though Latvia was fairly mild climate-wise>>
• Insisting on wearing hoodies year round... continuing to wear them even though it's spring and like 80 degrees outside i! (Explanations I'm given include: but what if I'm cold? But some of the classrooms might feel cold! - and then they run off, with the hoodie on, which all seems rather suspicious). <<OK, to be fair, my parents would have probably been thrilled if I wore a sweater in the late spring... but I clearly remember being so happy about the warm weather because I could get rid of the jackets/sweaters/scarves/hats!!!>>
• Wearing the same hoodie all the time. When I say "please don't wear this today, you wore this same thing yesterday and it's looking a bit ratty" they say "it's fine!!!!" and run off.
• Sports shorts in the winter - this is a battle I've won (at least for the time being) - as in, no shorts in the winter. No, just no. 
• There was a guy I knew when I was in college. He was a grad student in a drosophila lab. He wore super-short shorts year-round. He wore those shorts everywhere - dining halls, classes, religious services. It was... odd. I really, really, really don't want my kids to be that guy. (The drosophila lab burned down at one point.)

Our schools have no uniforms and the dress code is pretty lax (crop tops? super-short shorts? all a go). I generally don't tell my kids what to wear. But I get very annoyed when I ask a simple question (like "why are you wearing a hoodie even though it's warm outside?") and they get this mulish expression and pretty much sprint away. It just makes me feel like they are hiding something (they probably are? because 2/3 of my kids are teenagers and they are certainly very selective with what they share about their lives). 

But really, why would anyone want to wear a warm hoodie all day long when the weather is beautiful and warm outside?

Musical Musings and More

Last Saturday was C's first ever cello recital. It was lovely and she did a fantastic job. My mom accompanied her on the piano - they both had fun.

Yesterday evening was C's first ever band concert. I love their teacher and all the kids looked so happy to be there. C is playing alto saxophone.

She says she wants to continue with both cello and saxophone for the time being. We approach cello more formally - there are weekly lessons and the expectation of daily practice. Saxophone is more just fun - she is in the school band and they have group lessons there about once a week. C sometimes will practice saxophone at home, but most of the work is done at school. My husband played saxophone when he was in high school and he attempts to help her from time to time (C is typically less than thrilled about that). We'll see how things go... 

E has his auditions for the youth orchestra this evening and he really hopes to get into the first violins section. He just had his bow rehaired by a local luthier and that was an awesome experience. This guy, in his 70's, is a cellist and also runs his business or repairing and selling violins and cellos. E had a great time chatting with him, and came out of the shop kind of dazed, saying "wow, making violins would be a fun job...". E is all over the place when it comes to careers - and that's totally fine and healthy, I know. It's fun to see him exploring and thinking through the possibilities - one day, he is talking about NASA and airspace engineering (and looking at relevant college programs & requirements), and the next day he is all about crafting violins.

H has her Algebra Keystones this week and she is a bit stressed about it. She has a recital coming up in 1.5 weeks... H has been complaining about our piano and she has a good point. It's been a bit rough - there is only so much our piano tuner can do, and he says refurbishing it would not be a good idea. I am adding "find a new piano" to my list of big projects...

Music, Music, Music

May and June are looking to be very music-heavy, in the best way possible.

• A few days ago, we went to my son's youth orchestra concert. They were amazing! I mean, like on a level of a good semi-professional orchestra. This is E's first year with this orchestra - he is in the 2nd violins section. He has auditions coming up next week and he's hoping to make it to the 1st violins section.
• Yevgeny Kissin!!!! We went to his solo recital yesterday. It's beyond words. Every sound, every note, every pianissimo, every rest - just perfection. The words that come to mind when I hear him play are subtle, perfected, unhurried... He plays like he is breathing, if that makes sense - so natural, without posturing, without bravado or unnecessary glitter. It's just music - pure and full of emotion. Every artist will interpret music a little different - and Kissin's take on music just makes sense to me - and he is so amazing at letting it flow through him and adding his own depth and experiences to the sound.
• The last time my husband and I saw Kissin was in the early 2000's, in Chicago.
• The last time my mom saw Kissin was 40 years ago, in Riga.
• H's jazz band concert yesterday that we, unfortunately, missed (because we were at Kissin's concert).
• Coming up this weekend: C's first ever cello recital. My mom is accompanying her on the piano.
• Next week: C's first ever band concert (she plays saxophone).
• Also next week: H's jazz band will be performing in our town during "dining under the stars" event.
• Coming up in June: H's piano recital (this includes a piano duet she is doing with my mom).
• Also coming up in June: E's violin recital (my mom will be accompanying him).

While I was sitting in the concert hall yesterday, a number of things occurred to me. I love going to concerts. Going to a concert on a Wednesday evening is pretty inconvenient and requires a lot of planning. Buying tickets way ahead of time is a good way to ensure that I actually go to concerts (because otherwise, I would just say "huh, there is a cool concert coming up but it's too inconvenient to go and, in any case, there are about 20 kid-related events that day, and also I have a ton of work that I need to catch up on" - and never go anywhere).

Weekend Update

 What got done:

• Youth orchestra concert! They were amazing. The program was really fun: they played pieces by Bernstein, Brahms, and Berlioz. There are a lot of graduating seniors (like, a third of the orchestra) - these kids are so impressive, fitting a so many activities (music! sport! studying! hobbies!) into their lives.
• Lots of cooking: dinners, breakfasts, rhubarb and strawberry pies.
• Food shopping (husband did that)
• Minor clean-up around the house (vacuuming and dusting, plus one of my kids volunteered to mop the floors).
• Lots of dishes... because dishwasher is still not operational.

What was nice:

• Spending time with the family.
• Reading Dark Matter by Blake Crouch (I really liked it and spent a good chunk of Saturday either in the hammock or on the sofa, reading the book. This book was recommended to me by E.
• Reading What Is Real by Adam Becker - non-fiction that had some nice overlap with Dark Matter! Particle physics is insanely cool!
• H did a ton of dishes by hand on Mother's day (grumpily, but still -she did them. C and I dried and put stuff away.)
• Watching White Collar with the kids.
• A walk around the neighborhood with my husband.

Things that didn't get done or weren't so nice:

• Dishwasher is still broken.
• I didn't get enough sleep.
• One of my doctors wants me to get a chest x-ray - because of some odd stuff they saw last fall (they say cancer is very unlikely but they still want me to get the imaging done to rule it out).
• Garden is a mess - and rabbits have invaded. Possibly a groundhog, too.
• Kitchen remodeling - would be nice if we could get that going soon, but.... life.

Updates

Dishwasher - still out of commission.

Kids have been (grumpily) helping with the dishes.

Track is winding down for both kids! Just 1 more meet left, 1 party, and maybe a few random practices here and there.

First May concert is this Sunday. And then there is a concert or a recital pretty much every weekend until early June.  Plus a few more school performances during the week. 

Reading: What is Real? (By Adam Becker). I like it.

What I really, really want to do: just lie down and rest... for a couple of hours... or maybe even a whole day...

Kill Switch Part III And a Half

May has been all over the place in terms of the weather. We've had some really warm days and some really chilly days.

Saturday was a chilly day and after getting home in the evening we felt like we needed the heater on.

The heater did not come on.

So - to put things in perspective - we just replaced our really old heater (that was mostly working but was beginning to have weird issues) and air conditioner just a few months ago. Everything is still under warranty.

The heating company people couldn't come on Sunday (not unexpected) - and we ended up having our fireplace going most of the day. Because it was, like, high 50's in the house - May or no May. We've gone without heat before - for days on end and in the depth of winter, so this was not a big deal at all. Because May, and because we have a fireplace, and because - there is only so much one can do! My husband was annoyed but (I was impressed) he did not attempt to disassemble the heater.

Someone came on Monday and they fixed the issue (loose wires - nothing major) in about half an hour. So that's one thing we don't have to worry about (for now)!

Dishwasher - still not working (and it is barely over 4 years old  - we checked). My husband spent hours yesterday trying to nurse it back to health - which involved the kitchen floor completely covered in dishwasher innards. He put it all back together. The previous issue (no water action) seems to have been fixed but now the thing leaks. I nearly started laughing when he said he was going to have to go to Home Depot and buy a few things to fix the hose connection. Because what's a house project that wouldn't require multiple trips to Home Depot?

May I? and Random Questions

It's May!!! How did this happen? It's WARM outside. So many blooms everywhere. Evil pests are back to eating everything they can in our garden (they munched down the baby pea shoots!!!).

I feel like an Uber-mom. Because I'm constantly driving people everywhere.

At times, I feel so overwhelmed - because multiple things are happening all at once and I need to make sure people can get to and from their activities if I'm occupied elsewhere and can't drive them.

Random Questions:

• Does ideology require propaganda? (ideology, in this case, can mean anything like freedom, democracy, family values, individualism, socialism... - anything that any particular group can say "this is who we are and what we value".)
• How can one encourage gratefulness in kids who have lived privileged lives and have no point of reference?
• What helps with staying calm and balanced?
• Is there anyone out there who truly understands how electrons can be a wave and a particle and how that affects reality? 
• How do people get their kids to want to help out around the house? How do we teach compassion? (I suspect one needs to start early, when the kids are very little...)