Weekend Report

 

What got done:

• Re-recorded our son (violin) and my mom (piano) playing Severn's "Polish Dance" together for the 3rd and 4th time. I think they are both sick of it. This is for a virtual recital... The beauty of live recitals is that you get up on the stage, perform, and then boom you are done. With a virtual recital where you record ahead of time - there is an option of doing it over, and over, and over again...
• Kids had Hebrew School.
• Last 2 soccer games of the season (one win, one loss).
• Yardwork: leaves, leaves, and more leaves.
• My husband fixed the garage door.
• Kids and I folded laundry and watched a bit of figure skating. The Russian women skaters are amazing.
• I cleaned the laundry room.
• I baked bread, husband made meatballs. Other random cooking included blueberry pancakes, roasted vegetables, and salads.
• Reading (I finished The Last Watchman of Old Cairo).
• Kids played with friends.

What didn't get done:

• Apple sauce. I have a bunch of old less-than-stellar apples.
• Hiking in the park.
• Shopping (I really need to get a concert outfit for our son).
• Movie night.

[smart]Phone and Directions

I finally gave in and got a smartphone about a year ago. I don't love it, but it is useful when I want to check my email without trotting all the way up to the attic and waking up my computer. I use it to check my favorite blogs, news, and covid updates. It is also pretty good for sending and receiving texts. It's nice to be able to send and receive photos!

At the moment, I don't have a data plan, just connection to wi-fi. Because I work from home and I rarely go anywhere, this is totally sufficient. 

I use whatsapp - kids like it for video-calls with their cousins and I love getting photos and updates from family in other countries. 

I started using google maps for directions (I download maps I need ahead of time). Generally, I prefer to look up directions using my computer and then write them all down. It's easier to make adjustments (because sometimes, google-preferred route is not optimal). I am not a huge fan of google telling me where to go and which way to turn... twice now it took me on these weird drives through residential neighborhoods for no particular reason... Something is weird with the algorithms there - perhaps I need to look into my settings.

I feel weird being bossed around by my phone and trusting that it'll take me where I need to go... What if google doesn't like me and takes me on the most round-about, traffic-congested roads? What if it decides to sabotage my trip? It is super annoying when I go a different way than google wants me to go (because it may be more scenic, or is more direct, or whatever), and the thing keeps trying to get me to turn around!!! There should be a hand-less "shut up" function - where you say "shut up and re-route" and the app re-calculates the directions based on current location.

This could be totally turned into a creepy sci-fi short story. 

Phone apps being selective and playing favorites, allowing some people to get to their destination on time while forcing others to be late. And people being too stupid to understand what's happening, because we are too busy listening to google map's "turn right NOW".

Speech Therapy

When I was a kid, my mother was concerned about my “speech problem”. I stuttered, occasionally, and I tended to speak so fast other people had a hard time understanding me.  I remember my mom dragging me to see speech therapists back in Russia, who either said I would grow out of it or would put me into a horrible speech therapy group and made me do idiotic (from the perspective of a kid) exercises. Honestly, I thought she was greatly exaggerating. I didn’t think I had any problems at all. My friends seemed to understand me just fine. I did well in school.

When I was a teenager, the stuttering got worse, especially after coming to the US (I was 16). Someone recommended that I go see a speech therapist – again. 

I did go, and to my surprise, it wasn’t too bad. That speech therapist lady was amazing – she saw me as a whole person, not just “the speech problem” to be fixed. It was a joy to work with her. She was the first person – ever – who managed to explain to me what it meant that I talked too fast.

Everyone was always saying – you are talking too fast, slow down, speak slowly, can you say that again – slowly? It annoyed the hell out of me. I did not feel that I was speaking too fast at all, so it seemed like it was someone else’s problem. 

The speech therapist (unfortunately, I don’t remember her name) asked me to sing. After I sang a short song, she asked me to sing it again – but now, in the tempo I would use in a conversation. And that was the big moment –I felt the difference. Forever before, when people said “you talk too fast”, it was just so disconnected. Even when I heard myself recorded (like on an answering machine), there was a disconnect – I could tell the person was talking too fast, but I felt like that person didn’t have anything to do with me.* The speech therapist really helped me find a point of reference, she helped me understand what it felt like when words coming out of my mouth too fast.

When I turned 18, I had to transfer to an adult speech therapist. And that was… not good. The new speech therapist kept mouthing words as I was talking (as if she was trying to help me talk, I guess?). It was driving me bonkers. I believe she was more used to working with people who had speech issues after stroke – so it just wasn’t a good fit. I quit after a couple of sessions with her.

I am not sure how much of a genetic component there is to stuttering. I know that I have a few relatives on my grandfather’s side who stutter. One of my kids tends to talk too fast when super-excited about something. I’ll have to do the singing game – maybe that’ll help. 

Did you ever have to be in speech therapy? Did it help?

*True story. My parents were planning to come and visit me soon after I started college. I left a message on their answering machine, telling them exactly where and what time to meet me. I was furious when they didn’t show up. It turned out, they couldn’t understand my message. They even played the recording back for me. I couldn’t understand what I was saying, either.

Weekend Report: November

 How can it possibly be November? I am not ready.

What got done:

• 1:1 hike with my youngest child. The weather was fantastic, the leaves look beautiful. She ran into a couple of her friends who were planting trees and got to help out and plant a pin oak.

• Soccer games! One win, one loss.

• Re-recorded violin+piano performance for a virtual recital for our oldest child.

• Baked bread (honey wheat loaf and beet bread)

• Farmers market (our favorite farmer has amazing carrots)

• Reading in front of the fireplace (Harry Potter book 6 with older kids)

• Family movie time: Stargate

• Family walk around the neighbourhood

• Kids playing with neighbors and jumping into leaf piles

• Laundry

What did not get done:

• Cleaning out the laundry room

• Finding and renting a place for winter vacation

• Finding zen (I’ve been grumpy and prone to fits of yelling – not sure what’s going on with me).

Quirks, Phobias, and Anxieties

There is just no telling what kinds of quirks people may have. 

My mom is really bothered by messy hair (usually she manages to convince my kids to let her brush and make their hair). She has a fear of mice. Also, she really doesn’t like needles (she fainted while she was getting her ears pierced). One of my friends gets really anxious about trying new foods. My husband is a germaphobe and gets really uncomfortable when someone coughs or sneezes. 

Me – I mostly have very convenient phobias and anxieties. I am really afraid of heights. Luckily, my fear is limited to situations where I can actually fall – I am OK as long as there is a solid barrier and I am OK in airplanes. I never have to climb anything or put myself in situations where I would have to face my fear. 

When I was a kid, my mom would try to convince me to go on a giant slide (giant from a child’s perspective). Oh, the terror. She would say “it is only scary the first time! And then it’s fine!” That never made any sense to me – why would it be any less terrifying on the 2nd try?

I am afraid of going really fast downhill on a bike (once again, it’s not like I ever have to do that…), I squeeze my breaks really hard all the way down. My husband rolls his eyes and tells me I’m wearing out the breaks – ha, at least I made it down in one piece. Our middle child loves going down the hill FAST (she loves the adrenaline rush she gets from it) – I can’t watch….  

I am very cautious about movies and shows I watch (somehow books are less anxiety-inducing). I hate feeling upset by the choices made by on-screen characters. I am reluctant to watch many comedies because they make me feel bad.

Oh, speaking of comedies… I had to stop watching “Marvelous Mrs. Maisel”. The amount of anxiety I was experiencing every time she was performing on stage was ridiculous. I only felt that anxious when my kids or my mom were performing during recitals – and even that wasn’t so bad because it was reasonable (they are MINE, they are not some random fictional lady), and I love them no matter what, and it only happened once every few months (instead of multiple times during TV episode).

By the way, listening to my child perform can be more terrifying than performing myself (because then I am too busy to feel anxious).

What’s your favorite personal quirk?

Roadside Picnic

It is a generally expected thing that if there is a book one wants to read - one should be able to find it, either at a library or a bookstore. 

It annoys me to no end when there is something specific I want to read and it is not available because it is out of print, or has been banned, or has never been translated, or some other nonsense like that.

It started with a movie. I was 12 or 13 when I watched Tarkovsky's "Stalker." It became the paragon of science fiction for me. I had never seen anything like it before. I understood enough to know there was hidden meaning there, but I couldn't figure out what it was. I remember nearly hyperventilating with excitement and asking my mom: "But what does that all mean? Why can't they go this way? Why is he lying there? WHAT IS THIS?" My mom would shrug and say something along the lines of "the director overdid it to that point it becomes meaningless," and then, trying to explain a specific scene, she said "I can't remember exactly, but in the book..." And there was me, like a hunting dog picking up a scent. A book - did she say there was a book - where is the book?

I spent the next, oh I don't know, 7 or 8 years looking for that book, the "Roadside Picnic" by brothers Strugatskie, the book that "Stalker" was loosely based on. We had a couple of their science fiction novels at home, but not that one. No one in the extended family had it. None of our friends had it. The bookstores didn't have it. The library didn't have it. I would wonder around flea markets where people would be selling their book collections (this was the early 90's, some people were forced to sell their stuff to make the ends meet) - nothing. Sure, people have heard of it - both my mother and my aunt had read it and liked it - but they couldn't remember where they got their copies from or what happened to them afterwards.

In 1994, we came to the US. I didn't forget about the "Roadside Picnic" but I more-or-less gave up on it. After all, there were plenty of other books to read. I continued to love science fiction (but nothing had the same impact as "Stalker"). I continued to love science. I went to college - a big state school known for it biochemistry department. One day, I was wondering through the university library stacks, checking out their Russian section, and - what do you know - there was a collection of works by Arkadiy and Boris Strugatsky. It was a new edition that came out in 1994 - the year we emigrated. And there was "Roadside Picnic" on the shelf, and I couldn't believe my own eyeballs.  I spent so much time and so much effort looking for that book back in Russia and Latvia. I never expected to stumble across it in the United States - how weird was that? (And how ironic was that? Almost as ironic as the fact that it wasn't until I came to a capitalist country that I met a real-life Socialist.)

Were there any books you've spent years looking for?

I do  have a couple more I want to mention - all children's books - but that's for another post.

Weekend Report

Happy Halloween! We had a witch, an elf queen, and a murderous clown. Kids are totally gorging themselves on candy. I want to try and see if they can self-regulate this year (they should be? they are old enough?). I have a big bowl of candy sitting in the dining room, totally open-access. The rest of the candy (according to this year's count, they collected over 260... not including the sweets they got from grandparents) is hidden away. I told them that bowl is what they have until Thanksgiving. They can eat it all at once or they can make it last. We'll see how well this is going to work out.

Stuff that got done:

• Friday: Halloween parade for the elementary school
• Saturday: Shabbat services + Hebrew school, followed by a quick trip to the pet shop to get supplies and toys.
• Saturday: 2 soccer games
• Saturday: Family movie night (Tomorrow Never Dies) 
• Sunday: drove 45 min each way to pick up our new cat, Vlad (because there are so many fun things we can call him: Vlad the Stinker, Vlad the Impaler, Vlad the Scratcher)
• Sunday: lunch/early dinner with my parents to celebrate their 4 years in the neighborhood (they moved across the country to be closer to us). The food was amazing! There was music and singing!
• Sunday: trick or treating in our neighborhood.
• Sunday: some jerks threw toilet paper at our trees and bushes. It was annoying but took only a couple of minutes to clean up (I guess the jerks were totally inept)
• Kids tell me that it's some weird American tradition, where kids throw TP at people's houses if they don't like them. 
• Clearly, some American traditions are stupid. What a waste of TP (seriously, haven't they heard there may be shortage of TP again?)
• Also, clearly, some neighborhood kids don't like us. 
• Sunday: kids counted and sorted all their candy

Kids had both Monday and Tuesday off, which was absolutely needed after the weekend and all that candy.

My husband and I took time off from work. On Monday, we went hiking to a place about an hour drive away. It was like a picture-perfect fall day: just a bit chilly, sunny, and perfect fall colors (bright orange, yellow, and red leaves, blue sky, green pines). The hike was mostly good (one of the children threw a temper tantrum but we managed to ignore the screaming and did not let it ruin the beautiful day). We stumbled on a lake that we had no idea was there - I love surprises like that. We explored new trails (it is always more exciting when you don't know for sure where exactly you are going to end up). Kids posed for pictures. We picked up some nice fall leaves to bring home. Kids picked up some coal chunks to bring home (no, I am not kidding) - they want to burn it in our fire place.

On Tuesday, my husband was back to work, so the kids and I decided to have a super-relaxing day. We had to do a couple of errands and chores, but then went to a local farm stand to feed the animals and buy some treats. Apple pie was amazing. At home, the kids spent hours playing with Vlad. Everyone had a bit of screen time. We read, we played a game, we cooked. Kids made breakfast - that was pretty awesome. H. made smoothies, E. made "soldier eggs" (my dad's method of scrambling eggs over turkey sausage), plus we made some crackers with cream cheese and salmon roe (from that trip to the Russian store a few weeks ago). (Only one of the kids seems to like fish eggs... ah well, acquired taste and all that).

And tomorrow it's back to work and school...