History

 I finished "The Historians" by Cecilia Ekbäck the other day. It took me a long time to get into the book. I was very slowly making my way through it until I hit about half-way mark. And then I got completely sucked in and couldn't put it down.

The things we humans are capable of. The extreme cruelty, stupidity, and degradation. The expectations of privilege. The claims of superiority. But also: self-sacrifice, integrity, and courage. 

Throughout the book, there was the theme of historical truth, weaving in and out. It very much hit close to home.

Two things I learned in history classes in school:

• History will be re-written, depending on who is in power and what country you are in.
• There is no truth.

I hated history. I still do. 

I have to admit that in college (I was required to take a couple of courses in history) things were much better. For the first time, I did not feel like somebody was trying to pour waste into my brain. We were looking at and analyzing different sources, different perspective. There was no attempt to pass the interpretations of events as THE TRUTH.

But... to this day, history is not something I like to read about. It feels like history is a whore who will say anything as long as it gets payed. History is constantly being re-written in response to political situation. Just look around. You know, the whole thing with taking down old monuments? It's all very familiar. Don't get me wrong - I don't think there should be Stalin's busts sitting in every building. But - see what I mean - yesterday, "our dear leader"; today, a mass murderer. Yesterday, a great explorer; today, another mass murderer. Yesterday, a general; today, an enslaver.

Perhaps, we think of ourselves as better, more enlightened, more sensitive, more anti-racist than people who came before us. Perhaps we are. Does this mean we have to poo-poo all over the previous generations? Are we really that much better?

What would it take to turn us into monsters? Not much. A common goal. Fear. Money.

Anyway, I digress....

Here is a quote from "The Historians":

"She asked about history and about truth..."

...

"Well, it was as if she was trying to gauge how easy it was to hide the past... discover if you could reshape history after the fact."

"We used to talk about that. Debate how much of history was written by the decision makers in the way they wanted..."

Concerts

 Last week, my son had his first live strings orchestra recital since 2019. Last week, I went to a concert for the first time in more than 2 years! 

It was amazing.

The kids did great. It was so special to be able to sit in the auditorium and listen to the music!

I didn't realize how much I missed this... The excitement, the buzz, the squishy chairs, the clapping, the feeling of being in the moment. 

Our son also participates in a young musician orchestra in our county - they decided to not do live concert and had a recording instead that is available on youtube. And I love it - the selection of music, the quality, the fact that I can send the link to all the family and friends. But, sitting at home, watching the performance on the computer... it just wasn't quite the same.

I hope there will be more live recitals. I hope we will be able to go to more live concerts.

Sometimes you don't realize you miss things until you are doing them again.

Weekend Report

 

Friday: 

• The girls went to a gymnastics open-gym. It was OK - they had fun but didn't love the place. I had plenty of time to call my cousin and read my book.

Saturday:

• Hebrew School Shabbat. There was also a meeting for the parents of kids doing their B'nai Mitzvah in the near future (it was nice to hear what other families are planning! And that were were not the only ones struggling with stuff and feeling behind!).
• My parents threw me a birthday party! It was amazing - we stayed there for hours (my poor parents), had lots of great food (and my mom made my favorite cake, Napoleon). We also went for a walk. 
• Shopping at the local orchard - got a couple of presents for the teachers and some party supplies for school parties.
• Reading in front of the fireplace.

Sunday:

• Laundry. Cooking: bread, soup, squash... 
• I meant to vacuum around the house, but didn't get around it it.
• Reading in front of the fireplace.
• Playing games with kids in front of the fireplace. We did a round of "Cover Your Assets" - I love that game. One of the kids had a meltdown because she was loosing (I lost, too). So we let her pick the next game - "Old Maid". I lost. It was lots of fun. Loosing to your kids is, somehow, much better than loosing to friends.
• A bit of yard work. My husband took down a tree in the back yard. We moved some fireplace wood from the shed to the front porch.
• Piano party for the girls.

I try not to think about the pandemic too much. We take reasonable precautions but we can't stop living. I wish it was easier to get tested in our area. I wish home-tests were readily available in all the pharmacies. I hope schools are able to remain open for in-person learning. However, if it happens that kids need to go back to virtual learning - we are set up for that. We've done it before - it wasn't ideal but it worked well enough. And we'll be able to have lunch all together again!!! We will persevere. 

44 Late Report

 So.

I turned 44 earlier this week.

Crazy.  My mother was 44 when we came to the US and my parents re-built their lives pretty much from 0. I don't know if I could do that.  I don't feel anywhere as grown-up, mature, or confident as she was at that time. I feel like a perpetual kid, playing a role of a grown-up, trying to keep things together.

Lucky things (tfu-tfu-tfu): I am alive. I am able to enjoy hiking, baking, board games, playing the piano, fun conversations with kids (about everything), fun conversations with my parents, reading books. I can walk, swim, bike, and sled (if we ever get any snow this winter). I have a job that pays well and has good benefits.

Meh stuff: potential health issues, my parents accumulating numerous health problems, pandemic.

Meh stuff that can be fixed: messy house, rooms in need of fresh paint, weeds in the garden, some ugly bushes that need to be replaced.

It is good to be 44. It is even better to forget that I am 44 and indulge in giggling with my kids or late-night conversations with friends.

Weekend Report

We went to see Dune!!!

I really wanted to see it on the big screen. I was hoping to wait until our younger 2 kids were fully vaccinated (mid-December) but when I checked the movie theater schedules, there was nothing nearby playing Dune after this coming Thursday.

So, I called my mom, grabbed my son, and the 3 of us went to see Dune. I loved it. It wasn't perfect - sometimes characters got lost among all the aesthetic splendor, and the movie could have easily been 20 minutes shorter. Other than that - it was great. My son loved it. My mom enjoyed it. The movie theater was nearly empty (and we wore masked, and the 3 of us are fully vaccinated, etc, etc).

On Saturday, we had 2 Hanukkah parties. First my parents came and we ate latkes, sufganiyot, herring salad, and a few other things. Then later that evening, our friends came (and we ate latkes, sufganiyot, herring salad, and a few other things). I was thinking we would play games, but we all just ended up talking while the kids played. There was a brief game of ping-pong among the grown-ups, but for the most part we were sitting around the hot wood stove outside and chatting.

I love latkes. They were a fair amount of work, but kids really want to make them again (and they promised to help), so I think we'll do a latkes supper one of this evenings. After all, I am pretty sure there is no law forbidding latkes on non-Hanukkah days. In fact, my grandfather used to make them pretty frequently - the whole family loved them (and he grated the potatoes by hand!!!).

My husband and I did a bit of clean-up around the garden. We are considering extending it a bit.

There was lots of laundry and cooking. I baked bread.

What didn't get done: hmmm....  I haven't been reading to the kids... But they all have their own books at this point, and there hasn't been any specific book I feel super excited about and want to share with them... 

And how was your weekend?

Naming Names

After they got married and moved into their apartment, my parents named their new furniture. They had a kitchen set (table, stools, kitchen cabinets – that sort of thing) that was pretty fancy – I believe it was either from Germany or Czechoslovakia, I am not sure at this point. They called it “Kasya”.

They named the “big room” furniture “Teddy.” Teddy was a stenka (wall) – a set of 3 upright cabinets and shelves with glass doors and a bar in the middle. I guess the modern term would be modular shelves? We used it for storing fine china and crystal (behind glass doors), books (most of the other shelves), a record player, drinks (inside the bar), as well as knick-knacks, souveniers, and vases with candy.

Kasya didn’t really stick. But Teddy (we said Fedya in Russian) – that one got used a lot! I spent my childhood convinced that Teddy was just another word for shelves. My parents would say “I left my watch on Teddy – can you grab it?” “Please put your books back on Teddy!” I would ask “Mom, can I get a candy out of Teddy?”

************************************************

A few years ago, our coffee machine broke. It was not even 3 years old and we were super annoyed – because when we buy things, we expect them to last forever. Or, at least 25 years. It was one of those hyper-modern things with buttons and sealed bottom that you couldn’t open up and attempt to fix. It was not expensive or fancy in any way, and it would have been cheaper to buy a new one than to pay for repairs. Still, we were very, very annoyed.

So, my husband unearthed this beastly thing from the 80’s (or maybe 70’s) that his dad used to have in his work office back in the day. A coffee machine, with an analogue clock that could be used to set the timer and get the coffee going first thing in the morning. [My husband never throws anything out unless it is totally broken up and not usable. And even then, chances are, I’ll find it in the garage sitting on a shelf and taking up space. His family is the same. My family is the same, too. That’s why we have a last-century coffee machine.]

He proudly put the new/old coffee machine on the kitchen counter and plugged it in (he did wash it very thoroughly… after all, it’s been sitting and gathering dust for a few decades). Guess what? It worked!!! The analogue timer worked, too. It also made this loud whale-song noise every time it was brewing us some coffee. This happened around the same time my kids were listening to a children’s CD with a collection of silly and cute songs. One of the songs (our son’s favorite, he would play it over, and over, and over) was about Wendy the Whale. So, naturally, we started calling the coffee machine Wendy the Whale (on the account of the noises it was making), which then got truncated to simply Wendy.

Is Wendy done making coffee? Did you start Wendy yet? Wait, I need to get Wendy going…

Do you ever name your furniture or appliances?

December? No!!!!

I can’t believe it’s December. In my world, Halloween just happened the other day (I still haven’t managed to get a photo of all 3 kids in their costumes…)

I missed my cousin’s birthday (because I didn’t realize November was over).

My brains are completely scrambled.

For about a week, I was hyper-focused on a paper I was writing for work. It was all I could think about. When I turned it in, all the kids commented: “Mom, all of a sudden you are so happy! You are no longer snapping at everyone!”

Then, we hosted Thanksgiving. It was fun, it was awesome, our family is amazing. Everyone brought food, so we only made turkey, gravy, cranberry sauce, herring salad, and sweet potatoes. Still, it was a lot of work. I cleaned, and cleaned, and cleaned (I even washed some of the windows!) – kids helped. My husband did a ton of yardwork to get stuff cleaned up (the kids and I helped). Having people over is a very good incentive to clean up stuff that is not normally a top priority.

And then I sort of collapsed and did not want to do anything for the rest of the weekend.

Then I got confused with days and dates and nearly missed the 1st night of Hanukkah. Thank goodness my mother called to wish us Happy Hanukkah and I was all discombobulated because “but wait, but it’s not until tomorrow night! Right???” 

Wrong.

So there was a bit of a scramble to get the candles and the menorahs (luckily, our daughter cleaned and polished those the day before! All on her own!) and to wrap a couple of presents (seemed kind of silly to wrap things so that the kids could tear the paper off 5 seconds later, but they really really really wanted all their presents wrapped).

Am I sort of last-minute about wrapping presents and getting things ready for holidays? YES I AM.

And now it is December. And 2021 is almost over. I am not ready...