Family Stuff

We are at a (relatively) good spot with the kids (tfu-tfu).

We've had lots of good conversations! They ask interesting questions. They are thoughtful. They are funny. And for now, they seem to be very interested in sharing their thoughts and listening to our opinion about things. I have no idea how long this will last - the older two are on the brink of teenage-dom. Isn't that when kids think the parents are out of touch with reality and get annoyed by everything we say?

I already get the whole "mom, you are SO last-century! No one uses phone to call - everyone texts!" and "mom, we are the only family that doesn't eat xyz, all the Americans do this!". But it is, for now, all said rather fondly - and not meant to offend.

Meals together are now so much less stressful than 5 years ago. Everyone is able to feed themselves! We have conversations! We tell jokes! Kids still tend to talk over each other and don't always have the patience to listen to their siblings. Not sure if that will ever change...

We haven't been out eating in a restaurant in years. Even before the pandemic, it felt stressful to go out with 3 young-ish kids, so we mostly avoided it. Maybe we should try it (while there is a lull in local covid cases) - this would feel like a totally novel experience.

Speaking of family and siblings... my mom is afraid to talk to her sister (who currently lives in the US). Because of the war in Ukraine. My parents have been very much horrified by what Putin has been doing. My mom never liked him (because of his KGB connection) - good instincts. My dad, on the other hand, had some respect for Putin - until now. So, my parents are very firmly in anti-Putin camp. My mom is not sure what her sister's take on the situation is. She (my aunt) has lived in Kharkiv for many years, and so did my grandparents. They had a horrible time with anti-Semitism while there. So did my dad's best friend (who ended up moving to Belarus because of all the issues he was having).

So, my mom is terrified that she and her sister are going to end up on the opposite sides of the barricade, so to speak.

Mom's sister-in-law and my cousin are in Taganrog, Russia. It's a small city not far from Ukraine. They've been in touch through WhatsApp, but I feel like we need to have some sort of backup communication plan in case Russia declares WhatsApp off-limits, or Meta decides to shut off WhatsApp for Russian citizens. They never talk about politics - just basic things, like are you OK and is everyone healthy. We have no idea what their opinions are - and we wouldn't want to put them at risk in any way, therefore, we watch what we say (and they watch what they say).

How do you work around any in-family political disagreements? Avoid the subject altogether, disown family members with offending viewpoints, politely nod and smile while wishing you could strangle the other person?