Freedom

We live in a suburb but very close to a small town. The town is cute, very pedestrian-friendly, and, in general, is a good place for teens. If only there were sidewalks going into town... or bike lanes... Our kids are completely dependent on us driving them into town. They can't go to an ice cream place, buy a treat, or meet up with friends in town without help from parents.

Or so we thought.

Our 14 (almost 15) year old has figured out a relatively safe way to bike into town. It involves riding on residential side streets, getting across a stream to the middle school property, then crossing over a very busy road (but there is a light) into a park, then crossing over that same busy road again at a different light a little farther down to get to the start of a sidewalk, then riding along the busy road but on a sidewalk, then getting on smaller side roads going into town.

Before you yell at me - I know you are not supposed to ride your bike on a sidewalk. But it would not be safe riding a bike along that busy road I mentioned. Sidewalk is only marginally safer, but still... And it is almost never that people actually walk in that section of the sidewalk (it starts, rather abruptly, near a merge with a major highway).

I was nervous and I made him promise that he would call, or text, as soon as he got to his friend's house.

He didn't.

For about 30 min, I was a nervous wreck. Then I finally called his friend's mom - sounding, I am sure, absolutely frantic. 

He got there just fine, he was playing baseball with friends.

I was so mad.

I was so glad that he was OK.

He eventually did call (hours later), and he felt pretty bad that he forgot to let me know he got to town safe and sound.

I am glad that there is a way my kids can experience independence and responsibility.

My son will not be biking into town in the next week or two - as a consequence of him NOT being responsible and NOT calling when he was supposed to.

But after this mini time-out... I am going to be thrilled if he does it on a regular basis (and calls me as soon as he gets there). Because he should have this freedom: to plan things, to feel independent, to be growing up. 

The funny thing was - I asked him if he had a good time... It was OK - it was good to see his friends, but it wasn't great because baseball was not particularly fun. I get a feeling that actually the process of getting into town was more fun than being in town with his friends.