To Speak or Not to Speak

I've been asked about what language I spoke when travelling in the Baltic region (and Daria asked if people in Latvia gave me a hard time when speaking Russian).

The short answer: it depends.

The long answer:

Finland: mostly English. I attempted to say "thank you" in Finnish (kiitos) whenever possible, and also found myself using "sorry" (anteeksi) quite a bit. I sometimes asked "do you speak English?" whenever I was starting a conversation. For the most part, people recognized me as a foreigner right away and would use English. A couple of times, random people spoke Finnish to me, but the abject look of terror and confusion on my face would make the pause and switch to English.

The exception was our tour guide from Green Cap Tours. His name was Ruslan and he was from Russia :) So we chatted in Russian! The guy has been living in Finland for 5 years (after living for a while in Spain), was planning to apply for citizenship, and was absolutely fluent in English. He just finished his graduate degree in Helsinki and was studying Finnish to get ready for his citizenship application. 

Estonia: I was very strategic. I would eavesdrop to hear what language the store clerks spoke to customers or to each other. If I heard them speak Russian - I would also speak Russian. If they spoke Estonian, I would ask them if they spoke English (this only happened a couple of times, and always with people in their 20's - they spoke perfect English). A lot of people spoke Russian! I tried to use "Aitah" (thank you) and "Vabandust" (sorry). 

We also had an absolutely fascinating lingual and culinary experience at a cafe in Tallinn - I'll have to do a special "sushi/pizza" post on that!!!

My daughters and I went to H&M and bought a couple of tops. The girl (in her 20's) who worked at the cash register was helping us, and because the kids and I spoke English, it just kind of happened that I spoke English while paying. I was asked to show an ID (because of some weirdness with the foreign credit card) - and when she saw my name, she said something along the lines of "Oh, this looks like a Slavic name!" 

This completely caught me off guard! So I started to explain how I used to live in Latvia when I was a teen. 

And then she asked:"Oh, so do you speak Latvian?" 

Um... no: "Oh, I used to speak some Latvian when I was a kid, but I have forgotten it all. But I do speak Russian!" (A moment later came a belated thought - maybe I should not have shared that...)

She frowned and  said: "Oh, boo....." 

And then she signed and added "Actually, I speak Russian, too."

The kids and I thought the whole experience was rather awkward.

Latvia: Same as in Estonia - I eavesdropped to see what the preferred language was. I was very happy that I actually was still able to understand a bit of Latvian (very basic stuff on how much things cost, etc). Young-ish people were more likely to speak Lativan/English. 

No one gave me a hard time for speaking either language, but like I said, I was pretty cautious. Also, there are a lot of people speaking Russian in Riga!

When in Tukums (small town, not as many people likely to speak Russian), we stopped by the Durbe palace and I had a couple of questions for the people who worked there. I asked if they preferred English or Russian, and they said "Russian, please" - with a lot more happiness than I expected, provided that we were very near a former USSR air base. Useful words: Paldies (thank you), piedod man ludzu (excuse me), labdien (good day).

There is definitely a lot of bitterness in Estonia and Latvia about Russia. There is a big accent on commemorating freedom and independence from Russia in both countries. There is also quite a bit of bitterness in the Russian-speaking community about feeling forced to give up identity/language, at least in Latvia.

Overall: When people didn't speak English, chances were, we could communicate in Russian. When people didn't speak Russian, we could usually use English. There may have been a couple of instances where neither of those languages worked and I was gesturing wildly, while saying Kiitos, Aitah, or Paldies.

Sick and Life Updates

My parents came back from their trip to Canada last Friday. They had a wonderful time at Dad's best friend's grandson's wedding.* 

Unfortunately, mom now has a black eye, a broken rib, and a broken shoulder (what kind of a party did she go to?). Also, they both tested positive for COVID after getting home, and now I am sick, too. 

In other news: 

• We rented a full-size cello for C. 
• E is looking for a new violin - he's been trying a bunch out, but so far - no winners.
• H is loving her school schedule, especially because English is not until the second semester. To H, this means that she does not have to get back to reading Frankenstein (summer reading) until winter break.
• The weather is beautiful right now - I wish I could go for a hike. But I'm not feeling great and have a ton of work...
• The weekend was not too busy: helping out my parents, going to the cello rental place, going to the pool. Also, as always, laundry. 
• My energy level is ridiculously low: I made banana bread last Saturday, and then felt so tired I needed to sit down and rest a while. Really! 

 

*Dad has a best friend from med school that he has been in touch with all these years. Their daughter and grandkids live in Canada. 

Things Are

 Hi all,

Things are a little crazy right now. Work is, once again, exploding with stress and long hours. Kids are about to start school! We a week to get ready. I haven't even started looking at school supplies. The girls need new backpacks this year - they found some on amazon and threw in some pens and pencils - so at least we'll have that. House needs cleaning and organizing. There is just an overwhelming amount of stuff that needs to get done and competing priorities.

E had his first race today.

H has been babysitting this whole week.

C had a horse camp - she loved it.

My husband's birthday is coming up and I need to make sure I have ingredients for his pineapple upside-down cake.

There is also laundry - omg, there's laundry that I started this mornign and totally forgot until this very minute.

There is also an issue with E's class schedule (high school went to block schedule, so there have been some problems) - he is mostly taking care of things on his own, but he needs help putting together an email trying to get the school to do something a bit unconventional. All his math/physics classes are fine, but he wanted to take Honors English and, instead, he needs to choose between standard and AP... neither of those is a great option for him. Also, he thought he was taking French, but it's not in his schedule - some wires got crossed along the way (we should have paid better attention when the letter came listing the classes that he selected back in March - but I thought it was there - and it wasn't). For French - he can always take one more class his Senior year, and he already has the required number of years for the college programs he wants to apply to (2 years of French; he technically has 3 if you count the middle school). Also, he complained about the French class non-stop, so maybe this is meant to be.

Alrighty, I am going to run and take care of laundry.

How is your end-of-summer going? Do you also feel like it's a sprint to finish all those to-do's?

Latvia Highlights

• Sunset on the Baltic sea. It was spectacular and one of the most special things we experienced as a family. Everyone loved it!
• Mosquitos were exactly as bad as I remembered them from childhood. 
• Sigulda was cool (other than road constructions everywhere). Turaida castle and Gauja river in the background:

• Jurmala was fun and very nice (and a lovely place to walk around). Husband and kids went to the water park in Jurmala - the kids loved it (I suspect my husband did, too).
• Meeting up with a friend from grad school days and catching up on life; having dinners together and exploring places on foot. 
• Meeting up with school friend from childhood (it's been 31 year since we've seen each other), catching up on life. Also having our kids hanging out together! Also seeing her mom and sister again and visiting her home. 
• Swimming in the Baltic sea - finally I could enjoy myself and just float in gentle waters without being constantly knocked over by waves or swallowing tons of super salty water. Yes, the water was on the chilly side, but not too bad. 
• Riga was beautiful. The organ at the Dome Cathedral - spectacular. Roosters on the roof! Also in Riga - the Freedom Monument and the nearby park are beautiful (the park is a very nice spot to relax).
• An older guy playing Raimonds Pauls on saxophone near the train station. 
• Military planes doing their routine exercises near Tukums at the repurposed former Russian base.
• Market place in Riga (near the train station, in old zeppelin hangars) - omg, food!!! This is no tourist attraction - this is the real deal. 

Latvia - Tukums

After more than 30 years, I visited the town I used to live in.

We lived in Tukums for 3 years in the mid-80's, and then came back in 1991, planning to stay for good. Needless to say - things did not go that way. We ended up emigrating in 1994, for multiple reasons.

Coming back in 2025 and walking around the streets, seeing my old apartment building, the school, the railway station - it was meaningful in ways I did not expect and that I am still trying to process.

Visiting Tukums did not bring back negative memories (honestly, after all that time, any intense emotions seemed to have dissipated and were but a shadow of things that I used to remember).

It did not trigger happy feelings, or sad feelings, or the longing for childhood.

But it did give me a sense of reality and confidence. 

Things that I remember - they are real. They are not a figment of a child's overactive imagination (I did have an overactive imagination). The town stands. Many things are exactly as I remember. My life in Tukums was real. My school is solid and well-maintained. My apartment building is a little rougher than it used to be, but still good and clean and solid.

Our apartment building in Tukums  - Aviacias iela

It felt good that things didn't change. It felt amazing that memories could be validated and allowed to acquire certain solidity.

There was such comfort that I could visit things that were - that still are - it made me feel like all was well in the world. It made me feel more solid, more real.

My kids, on the other hand, thought the trip to Tukums was rather boring.

They were slightly aghast at the sight of my apartment building - "You used to live here?"

Well yes, dear children, and it was quite nice that we had our separate 2-room apartment, with running water and electricity. 

Other amenities, such as hot water, were a different story. After the summer of 1991, our part of town had no hot water, little heat in the winter, and little gas for cooking (the flames were so low it took hours to boil water). This went on, according to my school friend, for 7 years (less than 3 for us - we left in May of 1994). 

But still. We had a place to live. I went to school (and I am forever grateful to my amazing math and chemistry teachers - and sad for my kids who do not get anywhere near the level of excellence in math, with sub-zero expectations - we'll see about chemistry and physics this year)

I am so glad I went to Tukums and I am so happy my family were able to come along (even though the kids didn't find the trip particularly meaningful). I am so glad that Tukums looks the same as I remember: clean, neat, small, quiet. I am so glad the school I went to is still in use. And that the music school and the hospital were exactly where they used to be.

Tallinn

Tallinn is such a beautiful city. I think I visited once as a child, but I didn't remember anything. It looked old but new, full of life, and very proud of it's history. 

We stayed at a very nice apartment just a short walk from the old city. My husband and I went on walks there every morning while the kids were still asleep, exploring the alleys and narrow streets, looking through store windows, enjoying the quiet.

We stumbled across a little cafe that had delicious home-made food (more Russian than Estonian). We went there twice - something we almost never do (we usually like to try different places) - but the food was great, the owner was nice, and it was literally across the street from us. (Also, when someone says "Come back tomorrow! I'll make blinchiki for you!" - yep, we'll be there!)

Tallinn was so very alive. People enjoying the restaurants, sitting outside, exploring the city. Teens hanging out at a park in the evening. Live music. 

A lot of Russian language. From what I've heard, not much mixing among Russian-speakers and Estonian-speakers - like 2 parallel world that seem to (relatively peacefully) coexist.

The Kiek in de Kök museum was great - very well maintained and interesting exhibits. We all loved the walk along the old wall. The underground tunnels were extensive and also had impressive audio/video exhibits featuring more recent history.

The Maritime Museum - I was exhausted and my brain pretty much shut down 15 minutes in, but my husband and E liked it tremendously. Very interactive and very well organized. They had a submarine as well as a few other ships you could go into and explore. 

In general, Tallinn is very traveler-friendly. Public transportation is easy to use (we just scanned our credit cards when entering buses - but you do need a different card for each person). Free wi-fi is available in a lot of spots in the city. It was interesting how very old things in the city co-exist with the very new tech stuff.

I think for the kids, Tallinn was their favorite city on our trip.