Latvia - Tukums

After more than 30 years, I visited the town I used to live in.

We lived in Tukums for 3 years in the mid-80's, and then came back in 1991, planning to stay for good. Needless to say - things did not go that way. We ended up emigrating in 1994, for multiple reasons.

Coming back in 2025 and walking around the streets, seeing my old apartment building, the school, the railway station - it was meaningful in ways I did not expect and that I am still trying to process.

Visiting Tukums did not bring back negative memories (honestly, after all that time, any intense emotions seemed to have dissipated and were but a shadow of things that I used to remember).

It did not trigger happy feelings, or sad feelings, or the longing for childhood.

But it did give me a sense of reality and confidence. 

Things that I remember - they are real. They are not a figment of a child's overactive imagination (I did have an overactive imagination). The town stands. Many things are exactly as I remember. My life in Tukums was real. My school is solid and well-maintained. My apartment building is a little rougher than it used to be, but still good and clean and solid.

Our apartment building in Tukums  - Aviacias iela

It felt good that things didn't change. It felt amazing that memories could be validated and allowed to acquire certain solidity.

There was such comfort that I could visit things that were - that still are - it made me feel like all was well in the world. It made me feel more solid, more real.

My kids, on the other hand, thought the trip to Tukums was rather boring.

They were slightly aghast at the sight of my apartment building - "You used to live here?"

Well yes, dear children, and it was quite nice that we had our separate 2-room apartment, with running water and electricity. 

Other amenities, such as hot water, were a different story. After the summer of 1991, our part of town had no hot water, little heat in the winter, and little gas for cooking (the flames were so low it took hours to boil water). This went on, according to my school friend, for 7 years (less than 3 for us - we left in May of 1994). 

But still. We had a place to live. I went to school (and I am forever grateful to my amazing math and chemistry teachers - and sad for my kids who do not get anywhere near the level of excellence in math, with sub-zero expectations - we'll see about chemistry and physics this year)

I am so glad I went to Tukums and I am so happy my family were able to come along (even though the kids didn't find the trip particularly meaningful). I am so glad that Tukums looks the same as I remember: clean, neat, small, quiet. I am so glad the school I went to is still in use. And that the music school and the hospital were exactly where they used to be.