Tips and Tricks for Stress-Free Evenings from a Working Mom

Oh my goodness, I was going through my old drafts and I found this - from 11 years ago! We only had 2 kids back then!

Some days are good. Some days are bad. And some days are just awful and ugly. Most of us have been there, down in the dumps: after an extremely stressful day at work you have a splitting headache, your temper is short, and kids - they pick up on the negative vibe and turn into tantrum-throwing, screaming, fighting little nightmares. 

There are no one-size-fits-all solutions , but here are some tricks that help us stay sane and have peace (if not quiet) at home.

Tip # 1.  Develop a Simple Routine

Even if the kids don’t always cooperate, at least they know what to expect and what’s expected of them.  Long-term, this makes everyone’s life easier.  Here is an approximation of ours (the kids are 4.5 and 2.5):

1.      Shoes off, coats off; put away shoes and hang up the coats.

2.      Wash hands!!!!

3.     Snack.  (= a chance for mom to use the bathroom, change, and get things started for dinner)

4.     Short “snuggle and read with mommy” time*.  Alternatively, "playground time".

5.     Mom gets dinner ready.  Sometimes, kids help.  Other times, kids play, dance, draw, do puzzles, etc.

6.     Dinner!  Hopefully, Daddy is home by this time.

* I have noticed that if we have a snuggle session soon after getting home, the evening goes much smoother.  This is the wisdom I came by the hard way.  Ten minutes I spend reading books on the sofa with the kids make everyone so much more easy-going.  I feel more relaxed. The kids are happier and are then able to play on their own or hang out with me in the kitchen without a fuss.

Tip #2.  Slow Down.

Don’t rush things. Breathe, slow down and go with the flow.

Tip # 3.  When possible, go outside.

We are lucky to have a little park with a playground next to our house. When the weather is nice, we head over there. It is amazing how even a few minutes of running and playing outside will improve everyone's mood. Now that I think about it - it is my mood that gets improved the most. I spend all of my working hours indoors, so it is no surprise that being out and getting a little air and sunshine makes me feel like a new person.

Tip # 4.  Be Prepared.

We do our best to prepare healthy meals. This involves two things: simple unprocessed ingredients and time. Here are a couple of tricks that make my evenings run a little smoother:

• Prep what you can the night before: cut up vegetables for roasting, marinate meat, trim beans, etc. 

• Cook in bulk when possible: make things that will last for a few meals. A big pot of Borsch will last us three or four days. Crockpot-made roast beef provides meat for a few days.  

• Develop a repertoire of easy quick meals (salads, pan-fried fish, baked fish, pasta, couscous) that take less than 30 minutes of bench work 

• Have some "emergency dinners" for extra-stressful evenings that require absolutely no work at all. We have a stash of frozen Manicotti from Costco (I believe occasional processed food will not kill us) - kids love it and all I have to do is put it in the microwave.

Another part of the "Be Prepared" equation - the kids.  Busy kids = happy kids = no whining

• Set out art tools for them to discover and use

• Rotate toys (nothing like re-discovering their old favorites that they haven't seen in months!)

• Have colored ice (use the food coloring) for them to play with - my kids love, love, love playing with ice and water.

• Think through how kids can help with dinner prep (this will depend largely on their age and ability) and set up kid-space on one of the counters equipped with a cutting board, bowls and appropriate tools.**  

What do you do to keep your evenings calm and peaceful?

**Ah, the good old days... kids actually wanted to help prepare dinner! Now-a-day, the kids can cook (and do cook, occasionally), but that doesn't happen too often. Note to self: ask kids to make a meal once a week...