Life

Yesterday, my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. I don’t know too many details, except it’s Gleason Score 8, which means it’s aggressive and may have spread already. We will know more in a couple of weeks.

He is 74 years old.

It’s terrifying and I don’t know the best way to support him and mom.

Also, the pandemic – we’ve been minimizing how much we see the parents because of covid-19 risks. Cancer changes everything. I wish my parents could get their vaccines soon, but so far, they haven’t been able to get through anywhere. My husband and I are unlikely to get vaccinated before the fall (we are in a low-priority group) and kids – well, who knows when that’ll happen.

I want to spend as much time with my parents as possible. Our time is limited – that is always the case, but cancer diagnosis forces this unpleasant fact to the forefront. Time is limited, and no one knows how much or how little we have to spend with each other. We are going to die, but I keep telling myself “not today”. My parents will not be around forever – but they are here now. We can’t afford to waste time.

I am going to try and plan some outside get-togethers. My parents like going on walks, maybe we can join them. Maybe we can do something indoors, with social distancing and masks (movies? games?). Maybe we can do a bonfire.

I will ask my dad and see what he wants to do.

My parents have always been there for me. My father always had a joke ready to cheer me up. He’s been a source of strength and comfort – simply by being who he is.

It’s time to pay it back.