Pandemic Fatigue

 My husband and I are not outgoing people. We weren’t really into going to bars, clubs, or parties – ever. We weren’t big on travel, either. So when the pandemic hit, we didn’t feel like we were making too many life-style changes, aside from adjusting to everyone working and schooling from home full-time. And mask-wearing when going grocery shopping or to medical appointments. Spending most evenings and weekends at home wasn’t an adjustment. We were already doing it pre-pandemic.

 Also, we live in a quiet semi-rural area, so going for walks in the neighbourhood and hikes in the nearby parks stayed pretty much the same pre- and post-pandemic (well, except masks).

Instead of kid sports (soccer and gymnastics), we had a volleyball net set up in the front yard, soccer goals set up in the backyard, and (in the winter) ping-pong table in the living room. Instead of going to the neighbourhood pool in the summer, we let the kids wade in the stream and pond that are right next to our house. We (occasionally) got together with close family for outside fun and did our best to social-distance and wear masks.

Yes, we had to cancel a couple of trips, but we did manage to have a week-long getaway at the end of summer to a house in the middle of nowhere (very rural PA) where we went on hikes, fished, and managed to barely see any people at all.

So, you see, gentle reader, we weren’t suffering at all. Yes, some things were rough (like working with 3 kids at home without childcare) and some things were very stressful (shortage of flour last year freaked me out… and then, of course, the whole political situation in the country). Also, breast surgery last year and being high-risk for developing breast cancer can be super stressful. My father’s prostate cancer diagnosis – that’s beyond stressful, that’s devastating.

But now… I am so tired of this pandemic. It’s not so much the need to social distance or to wear masks – that in itself is not a big deal in our household. And I can live without recitals, symphony, museums, theatre, or indoor ice skating for another year or five. (I do wish we could figure out a way to go ice skating safely… If it gets cold enough this winter, kids could do it on our pond). I can also be totally fine without in-door dining for the foreseeable future. Occasional takeout is working pretty well for us (same as pre-pandemic… we rarely went out to eat).

The plague fatigue is because of constant need to make risk evaluations and decisions. Do we agree to do an outdoor playdate with family friends? Will their kids keep their masks on or would it be safer to just say no? Do we keep my parents outside in the near-freezing temperature or invite them inside? If I see someone else walking towards me when I am out for a walk in an otherwise empty street, do I cross the street, or put my mask on, or both, or is this just rude and crazy? Do I hug my father? Do I let my kids hug my father?

This is simply insane – previous set of norms and behaviours no longer applies. I always feel like a jerk – either because I am standing too close to someone or because I back away from them. They can’t read my facial expression because I have a mask on. Using body language that is typically reserved for situations when I don’t like someone or am afraid of them (like, backing away and keeping distance) is creating extreme cognitive dissonance when I am talking to family, or friends, or neighbors. Or, maybe I shouldn’t be talking to anyone at all, even in masks, even outside, even distanced. Maybe I should just stay inside and never come out – that, after all, would be safest. For everyone. (See Risks)