Thursday, July 8, 2021

Parenting is Hard Part I

It is a well-known but often forgotten fact that parenting is hard. 

If you see our kids quietly browsing books at the library, or obediently following us from point A to point B, please know that it’s but a snippet of reality. If you are ever tempted to be amazed at how obedient and well-behaved our kids are – ha – it’s just an illusion. The stars have aligned just right and at that very moment the kids were indeed on their best behaviour. Our kids are not amazingly obedient or quiet most of the time.

If you see our kids throwing temper tantrums, wining, making demands – please know that’s just a snippet of reality. Our kids are not bratty screaming horrors most of the time. 

If you see me scolding my kids (aka yelling) – please don’t give me a stink eye. Sometimes the kids do unsafe things that freak me out, sometimes I lose my temper because I’ve been sleep deprived, sometimes there are things going on that are not obvious to innocent bystanders.

If you see my kids being polite, helpful, kind, and sweet – please don’t ask me how I did it. Because I didn’t do anything. Or if I did – I have no idea what it was.

Parenting is hard. I have no idea if I am doing it right or wrong. Actually, there are probably a great many things I am doing wrong. I am doing my best – at any given moment in time. I don’t think there is any sort of overall universal parenting wisdom or sage advice that exists… we all have to figure it out, make mistakes, and just hope for the best.

If you think you have a recipe for raising perfect kids – you are so, so wrong. If something works for your family (sleep training, paying for grades, limiting screen time, always being consistent with consequences, giving kids responsibilities) – great, but I guarantee it’s not going to work for everyone. 

Unsolicited parenting advice can be so aggravating. 

Actually, unsolicited opinions on parenting can be equally aggravating.

And yet, sometimes, it can be so, so hard to NOT give unsolicited advice or opinion.... Funny, that....


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