Birthday Present

Expectations vs reality and needs vs wants.

I had this image in my head, that on my birthday, I would be able to take 15-20 minutes to myself to sit down and do some writing while the kids were getting ready for school. And maybe even read a few pages of a book while eating breakfast!

This didn't happen. 

Those minutes that I was looking forward to got obliterated by cleaning up dishes, making bed, brushing teeth, showing my youngest kid how to crochet (she got up half an hour early to do it), and tidying up random objects. Not a big deal, really - but I got irritated because I didn't get what I wanted (writing time!).

I realize that the expectation of having a chunk of uninterrupted time (even if it's just 15 min) first thing in the morning is a bit unrealistic at this point. Because kids want to chat while eating breakfast, or they need some last-minute signature, or something needs to be cleaned up... Or like today - there were a few small random tasks that really only took a minute or two each - and those things really did have to be done first thing so that....

So that as soon as I got C on the bus, I could go for a short hike at the park before starting work.

That was my present to myself - a solo hike through the trails before starting work.

It was just below freezing, so the trails were reasonably solid. Was it a perfect winter day? Well, it was sunny, and there was no wind... but how I wished there was snow on the ground and on the tree branches!!! 

When there is a disconnect between expectations and reality, I tend to get grouchy. 

Obviously, it is completely unreasonable to expect the weather to cooperate and give me exactly what I want when I want it. It is also pointless to get impatient with kids because they dawdle, or leave their dishes sitting around, or don't get their school things ready... (And yet, I do get irritated and grumpy instead of setting up my morning with the expectation that at least some of the kids will dawdle, read instead of getting dressed, forget to brush their hair and/or teeth, or complain that they have nothing to wear).

I want to go hiking on a snowy trail. But what I truly needed was a walk in nature - and I got that and I am all better now!

I want to have calm happy mornings - I am yet to figure out how to achieve that. But what I (and our family) need is reasonably nutritious food and a chance to connect and hug before we all run our separate ways.